Saturday, December 10, 2011

What now?

For those that feel left out in the dark, no worries.  Sometimes I kinda feel the same way.  Last Monday night I arrived back to Benton for the week.  There was a final meeting concerning some issues from Camp that I needed to go to.  As Chris and I drove past my old house into campus I thought I was going to vomit.  I helped build that house.  Literally, it was built for me.  Yet I completely walked away from it. What in the world is going on?  How did we get to this point.  I didn't enjoy being in the dining hall.  Nor did I really enjoy being on campus.  It just felt like everything was taken from us.  It wasn't right nor fair in any way shape or form.  During the Monday night meeting Ocoee Resort Ministries was totally dissolved.  In one vote it was simply gone.  How can they do that?  I still have no idea.  

It is what it is.

Rather than continuing to re-read what was it's best to move forward with what is to come.  

Just got word today that there is a possible place for me to rent that is nothing fancy.  It wasn't built for me.  I didn't get to pick out the paint or floors.  But it's fairly cheap and very close to the college where I desire to do discipleship ministry through.  It has neighbors that need to know more of Christ.  A couple of them are youth that attend a church through a bus ministry.  It's not in a grand neighborhood.  It's got an awkward layout.  Apparently you walk through the bedroom to get to the kitchen.  But does awkward layout matter when all you desire to do is use your home to express more of Christ to people?  Does it matter that it's not fancy when you want to use the space to talk with others about Christ?  Does it matter that the external beauty is not there in a living space when ultimately everything external in this world is fading quickly?  

I am thankful for this unfancy and awkward space the Lord has provided.  This whole transition really has been okay for the most part.  Moving out of my house was tough.  Mainly because I literally had no idea what I was doing or where I was going.  I knew I needed to be in North Mississippi, but I had no specifics.  Since then the Lord is laying things out little by little.  I've had a great place to stay for a short while.  This week I have the opportunity to check out a small unfacy and awkward place when I get back next week.  Where ever He leads I'll go continues to be song daily ringing in my ears.  Next I trust the Lord will provide a job.  

This is just a brief update for those trying to figure out what now?  Truly, I don't fully know yet other than I will continue to follow the Lord.  Even when it doesn't make sense :)    


Rie said...

Lindsey. You are brave and strong. You have a heart for Jesus that shows you that you are okay in exactly the same places He placed himself when he walked on earth. Nothing fancy, just those that need the most.

He will continue to give strength and wisdom.

I love you and are praying for you. My heart breaks for camp. And north MS only brings you closer to us.

Lindsey said...

Thanks Rie :) God is faithful. There is no doubt to that! I keep getting to live out situations to prove that every time.