Still learning

Since November 10th I've had an opportunity that most adults would give anything to experience.  I have not had to get up and go to work since that day.  Unfortunately, it has almost driven me crazy!  As I expressed over in this article Hands & Feet, work is what I do.  So, to have an extended time of not having work it's been a challenge.  By the grace of God I have not run out of finances yet.  I have been able to spend time visiting with friends and getting settled into my new location.    The Lord's provisions are more than evident.  Yet, I wake up frustrated and fretful most days.  I think I have discovered why...

I didn't choose this. {insert selfishness}

Okay, maybe in a round about way I did but overall I didn't choose this.  Yes, I chose to quit my job.  Yes, I chose to move to Mississippi.  I did those because I assumed I would get here and find a job.  That has not been the case and it has frustrated me.  This morning I've been straightening my place from the weekend influx of friends.  I've been trying to think through why I have been so frustrated at such a great blessing the Lord has given.  My mom would give her right arm to wake up and not go to work!!  So much so Dad only let's her take off a certain amount of days in a row.  Fearing if she takes more than that she'll never go back.  Who wouldn't want time to read, time to take a walk, time to not have to rush to accomplish anything?  

I'll tell you who wouldn't want those things.  Someone doesn't choose it! {again, insert selfishness}

It blows me away how the Lord will use different situations to teach the same lesson.  My first few years out of college I lived very frustrated that I was single.  Why?  Who would get frustrated to have a fun job, travel to fun places, sleep when I want, eat what I want, and do whatever I chose with my finances?  Someone who didn't choose such a life.  {again, insert selfishness}  

My top choice would have been marriage and a family fairly quickly after college.  It turns out the Lord had a different idea.  It took me several years after college to come to terms with that and not be angry towards God about concerning that issue.  {again, insert selfishness}  Here I am again in a situation most people would love to be in.  Yet frustration is often my feeling.  Why?

You guessed it {AGAIN, INSERT SELFISHNESS}

I am thankful this time around it's only taken me a few weeks to see my sin of selfishness rather than a few years as it did concerning singleness.  Now that I look back I wouldn't trade those tough years of singleness for anything.  The Lord taught more than I even knew I needed to learn.  I rejoice now knowing the same will be said of this unknown, jobless time in my life.  Christ is faithful to draw us near to Himself.  He will not leave us in our filth of sin!  I'm sure I've shared this song before but it continues to ring such truth in my life.

Spiritual application to all this coming soon...