Fall of man

Two post in one evening. Lucy, I know don't fall out of your chair. You might hurt sweet Carson!

I have been doing lots of school this evening. Well, I say lots. It has felt like lots but it probably has not been lots just a normal amount. Beside the point.

The fall of man. Sin. That's what has been the topic. Isn't that just everyone's favorite topic?! SIN. Yes, whether you realize it or not you do sin. It's ugly. Very ugly. No matter how big or small they appear in your eyes they are all felt by God.

Whew... That'll make you feel like crap real quick, huh?

Well, feeling "guilty" is not a feeling I am trying to push on anyone. Considering the way we use the word guilt today and the ways the word guilt was used in scripture are completely different. That's another post for another day.

Here's a picture of the what the fall of man looks like in real life.

Currently, my life looks like this.

Brand spanking new amazing house!

Friends and family who love me dearly.

A job I enjoy (most of the time)

Finances to provide for my needs and most wants.

Ability to further my education in something I enjoy.

The list of goodness could keep going. Then I have days like yesterday.

All I could think about yesterday was wanting to be married. Nothing else would go through my mind other than that one thought of marriage and children. It ruined the day. My heart coveted after one simple thing God has not given me yet. DESPITE the incredible list of things God is providing. I chose to weep over one thing I don't have.

That folks in its rarest form is the fall of man.

Eve chose to eat of the fruit she was directly told not too. Why? Because she thought she knew better than God. She thought God was holding out on her. She saw it and it looked alright. She made her own choice apart from trusting in God to have her best interest in mind.

Eve did it then and we do it now. Doesn't make it right just makes it what it is. The fall of man. Praise God for His grace that draws us back every so lovingly. Despite our consistent frustration with what God is giving or better yet what God is not giving.

Today was a new day.

"Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, 'The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him."

Lamentations 3:22-24

I can just imagine what was going on in this picture. It's time to get the wifey a gift. He finds something real niiiiice. Wraps it up and gives it to her. Trying to hide his excitement he snacks while she opens it.

He's so proud of himself. While dear wifey's face screams... What the heck is this?

The eyes speak volumes as to what her tone might have sounded like.

She has two options. Put it back in her lap and turn to tell him how much she loves it! Then quickly putting it in her sock draw having no idea what it was. Or to turn to him and respond how thoughtful and to ask exactly what is it or does it do. Allowing him time to explain both what it is and the best way to use it. Which one do you think she chose?

Last year my brother and I got my mom a used laptop for Christmas. It was a huge hit! She loved it but upon opening do you know what she did with it? She gave it right back to me so I could start showing her how to use it. Through this week process I often heard these phrases, "You can do that with a computer? I never knew that! How cool! You mean I can do all that sitting from my recliner?" That last one peeked my dad's interest in the laptop! :)

What's this got to do with anything?

It's got everything to do with everything... That's what!

Ever heard about the gift of salvation through Jesus Christ? It is a free gift God offers to all who are willing to accept. Through salvation we are welcomed into the family of God for all eternity. His a visual aid for those that need that (like me).

Salvation is a gift offered to humans by God our Creator. Upon His handing of that gift into our hands we have to make a choice. Do we deny the gift and give it back or do we unwrap it to see what it looks like. If you choose to deny and give it back your life will forever be altered. If you choose to open it and receive the gift your life too will forever be altered. Once the gift is opened and received what you do with it will determine the rest of your days on earth.

Do you stare at it’s weirdness and put it down and move on with life? Do you try and figure out exactly what it is yourself? Do you store it somewhere safe so it stays clean and protected because you know it is such a valued gift? Or do you do as my mom did with her computer? Do you give it back to the One who gave it to you so you can better understand what it is you have just been given? THIS my friends is the part in life most believers fail to ever understand. Salvation is not just a get out of hell free card. It’s a life more abundant and free card. Frustratingly enough though we are never taught how to access that freedom.

I love my mom to death but had she not let my brother and I walk her through how to use what she needed on her computer. I am confident to say it would be in a box in a spare bedroom just collecting dust (like most bibles are doing in our homes of America). Thankfully she asked how to use it! Otherwise that would have been one expensive box collecting dust.

Two perplexing issues to me

Two things in life I don't believe I have ever fully understand.

1. Jazzercise or Aerobics (can you see ME doing that in the picture?)

I don't remember all the circumstances around it but in high school for a period of time one winter when it was too cold to workout outside one of our coaches thought doing jazzercise/aerobics would be a great idea. Hold the phone. I did not do jazz to anything. I refused to do it. This particular coach thought she would show me who was boss. I was sitting a chair in the back while everyone did that mess. I sat there shaking my head. Not gonna do it! She tells me to come to the front row. Not expecting my surprise. I had no problem coming to the front row. And I brought my chair with me. Sat down right in front of her. Assuring her again I did not do that and she wasn't going to convince me otherwise. I sat in the chair the remainder of that class. I do believe that was the last time she brought a jazzercisse video to athletics class.

Yes, I'm sure there would have be athletic benefits to it. But what you need to remember is that I did not want to do that. Period. End of story. Pretty sure if you were in my mom's office as she is reading this you'd probably see her laughing out loud! She raised me, she knows! If you could see my dad reading this from his recliner he's just shaking his head and belly laughing. He raised me, he knows! (Not to mention the fact mom says I got this trait from him). :) There was absolutely nothing in that coaches power to get me to do that. There was no threat in the world that would have worked. I had it settled in my mind I was not going to participate in that. Hence, dragging my chair to the front row to sit down.

Which leads me to the second thing in life I'll never understand.

2. Obedience

As shown by my very true first story obedience has never been real high on my spiritual gift survey shall we say. Pretty sure if Seiring is reading this she too is getting a good laugh. Seeing how she drove 4 hours to my college graduation yes to show her support but more so to make sure I really did graduate. She knew this mindset in me that often got in the way. I know people who have no problem doing exactly what they're told when they are told to do it. Whatever gene that is I'm pretty sure mine has gone dormit or has just plain disappeared. I have questions. Lots and lots of questions. I have an insatiable desire to understand. I didn't see how jazzercise was going to benefit me. Thus, I wasn't going to do it.

If you can convince me that something is beneficial and worthwhile then you'll never have to think twice about my obedience. It will be done in a heart beat. But at the ounce of a question you better take time to help me understand before I pull the chair to the front row and sit down.

Tonight is one of those obedient issues.

I've gone back to college for a Master's in Biblical Counseling. I pretty much hated every minute of my academic career after they removed nap time come 1st grade. It was shot for me. I made it through elementary due to recess time. I made it through middle school and high school because you had to go to class to play sports. I made it through college because I was too scared to call my Mama to tell her I had dropped out. Now onto my Masters!? What?!?

That's what I think almost everyday that I have to pull out my books to work on my classes. I have nine hours and it's midterms this week. (Yes, I am fully aware I should be studying and not blogging but I needed a break). Tonight I was reminded again about this thing we call obedience. I do not want to be doing school. I want to be hanging out with people. I want to be watching TV or movies. I want to be doing something.... ANYTHING... other than sitting by myself working on SCHOOL! But it is for the sake of obedience that I am doing school. I do not know for sure what I have gone back but I simply know it is something the Lord drew my heart to do. It is out of a heart of obedience I will continue this scholastic endeavor and lonely nights for the next 3.5 semesters. Hopefully in that time frame God will show me what this is all about before I pull my chair to the front row leaving my books in the back and say forget it, I'm done!

Maybe one of God's major points is just to teach me another lesson in obedience even when I don't understand. If only I could've learned this lesson years ago. Perhaps my younger years could have proved less stressful to those around me.

Even though I will never understand jazzercise nor will I ever participate in it I hope God continues to teach me about obedience and the joys it truly can bring.

Oopsy...

It would appear it has been about 4 months since my last post. My sweet sister in law reminded me of that on my recent trip to Texas.

Hear me out before you pass judgement on my song selection.

*Disclaimer* I don't drink, smoke, or gamble. Nor do I believe the best thing in life is dying in your sleep. Those reasons aren't why this song has been on my mind.

This song first off makes me laugh. It's an old classic country tune! I do find some realness in knowing when to hold'em and knowing when to fold'em and simply knowing when to walk away or knowing when to run.

Life is an interesting thing.

The hurdles we face. The joys we overlook.

I've started with my Master's work again taking 9 hours online. Perhaps not my brightest moment. I'm a couple of weeks into and pretty much overwhelmed by two of the three classes. We'll see how the next couple of weeks pan out.

The construction on my new place of residency continues to go on. The move in date is still yet to be decided.

Work is work. Some people like what we do. Some people don't. I suppose that happens everywhere.

I noticed a couple of leaves fly by my window today while I was in the office which means the tress should be getting colorful pretty soon.

For all three people who read this and don't have daily contact with me now you know the short version of where life currently has me. Trying to know when to hold'em, know when to fold'em, know when to walk away and know when to run. That sums it up pretty well for right now.

The Beauty of a Child...

That picture is not of any baby that I know just one I found online. The past two evenings I've had the joy of holding a newborn for a bit. A friend of mine here in Tennessee has a baby that is all of 9 days old today. For the life of me I have absolutely no understanding of how anyone could ever not want a baby. I realize they can get expensive and cause a good amount of stress in the life of parents. I realize it's probably a little scary to take one home from the hospital. But how in the world after looking at one do you just not want one?

I've found myself both last night and tonight not just holding the baby. I like to hold her in front of me and just look at her. The tiny hands and feet. The eyes, ears, nose, and mouth that are so precious. The innocence. The dependency to survive both physically and emotionally upon those that surround them. It just fascinates me.

The reality that the Lord knew completely of that child long before she was born. The reality that God formed that baby in her mother's womb. The reality of God's design to give women the ability to grow a child within their own body. How do you see that happen over a period of nine months and not believe that there is a God?

The beauty of a child is one that always has and I guess probably always will make my heart melt.

Still here

I am still alive! Our staff has arrived for the summer. I've tried to take lots of pictures only to come to my computer and find out that my USB ports are apparently worn out. Little inconvenient but not a complete catastrophe. I can still download them somewhere else and put them on my computer through a CD that hooks up through a firewire.

I'm sure that was far more information than anyone really cared about.

We have 7 staffers currently. Five will stay the entire summer and two of them will be leaving at the end of June. As with each year they are all different. We've had a good time of orientation with them and continue to work out some of the odds and ends of what we expect of them throughout this summer.

I had to go out and till the garden today and for the first time since I cut my hair I actually pulled it into two lower pigtails to get it off my neck. That's a big step for my hair!

I haven't completely figured out yet how to make time to blog through this fun time of year. Hopefully by the end of the summer I will have something figured out!

Physically there is much going on around here.

Mentally it seems hard to make the mind slow down this time of year. There are so many things the Lord brings before us. Yes, we get staff in to help us do some of the ministries. Honestly though we believe one of the biggest task for our staff is to get to know Jesus more while they are here. We take that responsibility very seriously because if they walk away knowing Jesus better than when they showed up here there is nothing better in life we could have taught them. Nothing will help them go further in life more than knowing their King.

Spiritually it's a war zone around here. We want to see God move through this camp, this ministry and our lives. For every prayer and desire to see God move is an equal and opposite motive from satan to desire things around here to crumble. He's rather vicious in his attacks too. This song below is one of my favorites by Rich Mullins. I love the simplicity of the lyrics.

I'm the type of person who likes to understand why. When I go through times where my life doesn't make sense those are very frustrating times for me. It's in those moments I have to go back to the root of God. I have to find those things about Him that I do understand to help me understand my own life better. In the midst of that searching this song often becomes my prayer. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.

Jesus and basketball

So, what if following after the Lord was more like playing basketball?  For those of you who have no athletic background this post might not make sense at all.  However, if there is something that you've invested much time in in order to improve to a certain level be it sports or not, you should understand.  

Since my Sunday afternoon basketball experience I've been thinking back to my own athletic years growing up.  I was trained.  I was drilled.  I was challenged.  I improved.  If I was not constantly improving, there was no one to blame but me.  I was responsible for my own playing ability.  I knew what to do when I got the ball.  Either go towards the goal and automatically be looking for someone to pass the ball towards.  Your eyes were always scanning for who was open or an open spot to get to the goal.  You dribble in such a way to keep the ball away from the defender.  Then of course as the defender the point was to get the ball or simply keep them away from their goal. 

Everyday in practice we worked on ways to get the ball to the goal and ways to keep the other team from getting to their goal.  We had game plans.  We practiced our tactics on each other.  We corrected and redid it when we did it wrong.  Everyday you practiced the basics.  Free throws, layups, jump shots, and of course running.  Those were things that you would do in every game played so those were drilled into us daily.  If you struggled with one more than the other you would practice that even more.  

Back to Jesus.  Why don't we drill ourselves with God's word?  What are our everyday practices that we do to prepare for the daily battle we face?  If there is a particular area you struggle in do you do more in that area?  Do you have people willing to tell you when you're wrong and to repent?  Do you have people who will practice this thing called faith with you?  What don't our churches look more like basketball teams?  

When those girls were on that court on Sunday that was all that mattered at that moment?  People were watching them but they weren't concerned with that.  There were kids that went home that day I'm sure to practice like one of their favorite Lady Vol players.  What if our church looked like that?  When we're in worship that's all that matters, entering into God's presence.  People watch us but that doesn't matter.  What if people walked away from being near us and wanted to mimic what they say in us...  The Jesus they saw in us?  

I think there's something to the way sports work.  There's something to sharing a common goal.  They want to win.  They will do whatever it takes to achieve that goal.  Why can't our churches see the common goal?  To run the race...  Living out the things of the Lord...  love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self control?  

Just my random thoughts on Jesus and basketball.