What now?

For those that feel left out in the dark, no worries.  Sometimes I kinda feel the same way.  Last Monday night I arrived back to Benton for the week.  There was a final meeting concerning some issues from Camp that I needed to go to.  As Chris and I drove past my old house into campus I thought I was going to vomit.  I helped build that house.  Literally, it was built for me.  Yet I completely walked away from it. What in the world is going on?  How did we get to this point.  I didn't enjoy being in the dining hall.  Nor did I really enjoy being on campus.  It just felt like everything was taken from us.  It wasn't right nor fair in any way shape or form.  During the Monday night meeting Ocoee Resort Ministries was totally dissolved.  In one vote it was simply gone.  How can they do that?  I still have no idea.  

It is what it is.

Rather than continuing to re-read what was it's best to move forward with what is to come.  

Just got word today that there is a possible place for me to rent that is nothing fancy.  It wasn't built for me.  I didn't get to pick out the paint or floors.  But it's fairly cheap and very close to the college where I desire to do discipleship ministry through.  It has neighbors that need to know more of Christ.  A couple of them are youth that attend a church through a bus ministry.  It's not in a grand neighborhood.  It's got an awkward layout.  Apparently you walk through the bedroom to get to the kitchen.  But does awkward layout matter when all you desire to do is use your home to express more of Christ to people?  Does it matter that it's not fancy when you want to use the space to talk with others about Christ?  Does it matter that the external beauty is not there in a living space when ultimately everything external in this world is fading quickly?  

I am thankful for this unfancy and awkward space the Lord has provided.  This whole transition really has been okay for the most part.  Moving out of my house was tough.  Mainly because I literally had no idea what I was doing or where I was going.  I knew I needed to be in North Mississippi, but I had no specifics.  Since then the Lord is laying things out little by little.  I've had a great place to stay for a short while.  This week I have the opportunity to check out a small unfacy and awkward place when I get back next week.  Where ever He leads I'll go continues to be song daily ringing in my ears.  Next I trust the Lord will provide a job.  

This is just a brief update for those trying to figure out what now?  Truly, I don't fully know yet other than I will continue to follow the Lord.  Even when it doesn't make sense :)    

Good quote

Found this quote on Pinterest and thought it to be great truth.

I wrote this on November 7th and posted it to Facebook. 

Transitions

They are bound to happen in some form or fashion to us all.  I compare transitions in life to the way we transition when we drive.  Sometimes you can drive through places like Dallas or Atlanta traffic flawlessly driving in and out of the other cars.  Then there are moments when the driving seems to be going flawlessly for you but the car in front of you feels differently as their break lights scream at your face.  They are immediately stopping while you continue to go forward!  Don't act like you don't know what that moment feels like where everything in your car goes flying forward from the lurching stop you have to make.  If you've never experienced that you should come ride with me.  I seem to get behind these ridiculous people all the time!   

I do believe the Lord has been preparing me for transition for some time now.  However, I had literally no idea how or when it was going to happen.  The desire for ministry that my boss and I have shared for the past 7 years has been for discipleship.  It has become more than apparent that people that are in leadership above us do not share this same calling.  More or less our hands have become tied.  This struggle has been going on for 2 years now.  Finally, two weeks ago my boss and I decided it was time to step out in faith.  We both resigned from our positions through Camp Agape & Ocoee Resort Ministries.  Obviously this is the reader's digest version of all that has gone on during the past two years.  The Lord is more than aware of the intimate details, but both of us knew it was time for us to end our service at the Camp.  

The details of what is to come have been scarce because I literally had no idea what was to come.  This fall I took a two week trip to visit some different places and seek the Lord concerning my future.  The beautiful and equally frustrating part for me is that my options are basically endless.  I am single and debt free.  The sky truly is the limit for where I could go and what I could do.  My deepest concern was to be obedient to where the Lord desired for me to be.  Again, I have been seeking the Lord about this time of transition because I knew it was coming.  I just had no idea it was coming so quickly.  

Through much deliberate time with the Lord I am being lead towards collegiate ministry.  A week from Monday I hope to begin a new time of ministry in New Albany, Mississippi and having the opportunity to connect with students at Blue Mountain College.  There is potential for an on campus job that would be in the Fall of 2012.  For right now my desire is to get a part time job to pay my bills and be able to spend my free time working with students.  

Matthew 28:19 speaks of making disciples of all the nations.  Not merely making converts into a certain way of thinking, but true disciples of the gospel of Jesus Christ.  To disciple someone is to teach and train.  It is my desire to have the opportunity to teach and train college students in the deep truth of scripture.  Helping them step past the surface American culture Christianity that plagues our society.  

This is a risk for me.  I have no salary.  I have no place to stay.  I am leaving the extreme comforts of familiar people that the Lord brought into my life in Benton.  This past Friday through a strange situation of me leaving my purse at a restaurant the Lord graciously reminded me of how He is going to take care me through this process.  The same way He has taken care of me for the past 7 years.  For those that do not know I moved to Tennessee in much of the same situation with no home or salary.  I could speak for days on His provisions.  

Two weeks ago I felt like I was traveling through heavy traffic but it was going well.  Then came that car with their screaming break lights.  And life has been in a whirlwind since then.  I do believe the Lord is definitely walking me through this transition.  At this time I still don't know how it's all going to work out.  So, for now I just kind of laugh at the question, "Soooo (awkward pause) what are you going to do now that you quit your job?"  The best I can express at this point is to continue following the Lord.  Wherever He leads I'll go.  

Your prayers of course are always appreciated.  More than anything pray for my desperateness to be in the Lord's presence would grow during this time.  I will keep everyone posted as to where I land when the dust settles and the break lights aren't still screaming in my face!  

Faithfully following, 

Lindsey

Great song

Diamond in the Rough

Are you waiting for what you want or are you waiting upon the Lord?  

Waiting.  

One will be characterized by fear, panic, and anxieties.  The other will be marked by a renewed strength and a lack of weariness (Isaiah 40:31).  Waiting is a natural part of life.  Yet it is a part that our culture has tried to remove from society.  Why wait on the oven to warm up when you can use the microwave?  Why walk in to pay for gas when you can just do it at the pump?  Why go in and sit down to eat when you can just drive through and be on your way?  Why try to lose weight by eating better and working out when you could just take a pill?  The list goes on and on.  I am not against all modern conveniences.  It just seems as a whole, often they have done more harm than good.  While they make our external matters like cooking and pumping gas easier we are miserable inside because we want everything in this instant.  When the Lord does not desire something to happen in an instant we reach a point of turmoil.  Over what?  Simply having to wait.  Something that use to be a normal thing.  Farmers waited for crops to grow.  People waited for letters to be written and mailed.  It seems so simple.  Again, I am a huge fan of instant things like email and skype.  However, it burdens me that these instant external things have hindered me internally.  They have taught me impatience, greed and selfishness.  They have distanced me from my Lord.  They have taught me to be more concerned about me than Him.  

Waiting.  

What if we saw it as a gift rather than a curse?  A time to relax and trust in the Lord.  How would life change?  It’s often times like getting the horrifically ugly outfit at Christmas.  You feel forced to hold it up and express gratitude.  The whole time in your mind thinking...  “Please tell me there is a gift receipt!  PLEASE LET THEIR BE A RECEIPT!!”  You don’t want the gift.  You force a smile thinking of how could they waste a gift for you on something like that!?  What’s the focus here?  YOU!  How often do we treat the Lord with the same selfish mentality.  He chooses a time and season for us. Waiting being where I have found myself more often than not.  There are things about this season we know nothing of.  Yet in the foreknowledge of Christ He knows this is exactly what you need.  He knows that this waiting season will draw you closer to Him.  It will steady your heart for tougher situations to come.  It will help instill a greater hope and trust for things not of this earth!  He knows.  Bottom line.  Christ knows best.  Either we will learn to trust in His knowledge or we will continue to selfishly fight for our own desires.  Missing out on our strength being renewed and our weariness being defeated.  

Waiting.  

While it might not be the diamond every girl dreams of being given.  It most certainly is a diamond in the rough.  The potential for greatness is there, but will only be seen after proper polishing and refinement.  Polishing and refinement take time.  A season of waiting is necessary.  Waiting will always be an impossibility until our focus has been taken off of ourselves and placed on Christ.  Waiting is not what causes the misery we go through.  The misery is directly related to our selfishness as we are more consumed with getting what we want, than simply waiting upon the Lord.  Are you willing to appreciate the diamond in the rough and wait for it’s beauty to come forth as the Lord sees fit? 

Full Story

I had no idea the Lord's intentions by opening up the opportunity at the Boys and Girls Club this past fall. There was an assurance that it indeed was something He desired for me to do, so I took the job. I experienced a array of possibilities in seven months.

In April I felt that I had done what I needed to and should finish the job on April 28th. That thought confused me for awhile because it was a good job, a real pay check, real adult insurance, ministry to children, and I enjoyed it (for the most part). Then the Lord reminded me He had always been faithful in providing for me and would continue to do so. It also became apparent that I was not getting the one on one counseling time I wanted to get with the children. On March 29th I informed my boss that April 28th would be my last day. He said he would reluctantly take my resignation.

As April 28th drew near I had a better understanding. While the Lord allowed me to interact with children. While He showed me I can do more than I ever realized I could. While He taught me that it's okay to fail at something. He also used me to insanely organize the entire Boys & Girls Club.

Every single article in that facility was inventoried by a local college volunteer group. No stone was left unturned! Rules were posted on the walls. Schedules were created to try and adhere too. The front desk stayed clean, day in and day out. Cubbies were built to keep the children's things safe and organized. I got an email at the beginning on March that stated our facility had to be DOE (Department of Education) certified by the beginning of June. The organizational stuff is what is required for such certification. Ooohhhh... I understood it better at that moment. Getting it straightened up was what I needed to do. Getting to connect with the children was what I got to do.

That made it easier to walk away from. Since April 28th we've had two different groups at Camp. I have traveled to North Mississippi to move a friend out of her college dorm. Tonight was the first night I have been home while the sun was still out!

April 28th was also the day I finished up my school. Praise the Lord! Not only did I finish for the semester. I finished for my lifetime! Grades are in and I officially have a Master's in Biblical Counseling. In the past week I have read two books that I got to choose!

Summertime is fast approaching. Summer missionaries will be here May 23rd. Let the good times keep rollin'.

Yes

I am still alive.

April 28th will be my last day at the Boys & Girls Club.

April 29th-30th we have a group I'm helping to feed at Camp.

May 1st is my last day of school including finals and a book review.

May 2-3 I am running away.

I shall return back to real life on May 4th.

May 6th our first mission team of the summer arrives.

Life is good...

In the mean time check out this great song.