waters gone by (Job 11:13-20)

Wrong Identity

2012-01-23T13:00:00.002-05:00

A few weeks ago I interviewed at Lowe's. I like the store and it wouldn't require me buying new clothes to work there. Sounds ridiculous but logic is necessary! Interview seemed to go well. Several days later I heard from them and I didn't get any of the jobs I had applied for. Oh well.

Then...

A few days after that I get two different letters in the mail. One from Lowe's and one from a background check company. They both informed me that Lowe's found some information pertaining to my criminal history. Lowe's put a nice little quote on theres that simply said this may or may not have had anything to do with your employment status with Lowe's. Apparently, I have been in jail 3 times. Yep. Once including this past July.

WHAT!?

I call the Lowe's HR lady and explain to her the situation. She went through a 2 year period where someone in her town had the exact same name. Main difference that other lady was a felon. She said the CPS tried to come get her children once and all sorts of madness happened during that time. She told me to get off the phone with her and call the background company back ASAP.

Currently, I am in dispute with that company. They only use first name, last name and birthday to look people up. To me that is ridiculous! They said it's a common problem and should be fixed in 15 to 30 days. What are the odds is all I keep asking. What are the odds?

Tomorrow I will be meeting with the high school principle for the school that's across the street. Hopefully, I can at least get on the substitute teaching list to bring in some money until I can find other work. Continually I am reminded the Lord has never not taken care of my needs so why even entertain the thought that that is about to happen.

Going to go try to stay out of jail from now on!

Hands and Feet

2012-01-18T14:35:00.000-05:00

For so long they have defined who I am.

I grew up an athlete living in dependence upon the functionality of my hands and feet.

Then I went to college where walking to class and writing essays seemed to be a never ending task.

Following that came a ministry in Benton, TN. My ministry would have been rendered near useless if my hands and feet had been taken away.

What now?

I'm in a new place where I have no athletics, no school, no formal ministry, and no job. Everything here is new and different. Little did I know before moving here how much I based who I was on what I did. To some that sounds overly philosophical and just ridiculous. To me that statement is a representation of my sin. Christ did not give me talents in athletics, the ability to survive college or the desire to be in ministry so those things could define who I am. He alone is worthy of such definition. To be known as His child ought to render my heart more joy and peace than anything this world has to offer. From that joy, peace, contentment and stability my hands and feet should then go about desiring to bring Him glory. Unfortunately, I (we) often forget step one. Finding satisfaction in being His child. Thus we pursue hard after everything else to satisfy, define and give us worth. Creating a deep rooted problem. When those things I (we) are pursuing change or are altered for us the balance in life is lost and chaos begins to overwhelm. There is no stability. There is no contentment. There is no understanding. Everything we know has been uprooted.

What now?

What happens now is Christ allows us to clearly see where our devotion and commitment are found. The book of Job exemplifies that while his earthly life was shattered he pressed on towards trust in God. Yes, he hurt and struggled but he never let hurt and struggle remove his trust in God. His focus remained on the eternal side of things rather than the temporal.

Let's go back for just a moment to an earlier statement.

"To be known as His child ought to render my heart more joy and peace than anything this world has to offer."

Think that statement through...

Honestly.

Literally.

Truly.

Does it really matter that you are His child? What difference has that made in your life? Is that what makes you not want to drink, smoke, or cuss? Do you think that's why Christ died? So you could make good moral decisions?

He is more than moral decisions.

He is more than giving good gifts.

He is more than what makes a believer comfortable.

He is God.

He is the Almighty.

While I feel I am going through a phase where my hands and feet are tied up, my heart is being pruned (John 15:1-11). The sin that I have in my life has no place. Apart from Christ it will not be removed.

If we are never still before the Lord how will we ever see what He is doing? (Psalm 46:10) When was the last time you sat quietly in God's presence? If it truly mattered to you, you would make the time. Yes, life is busy but somehow we manage to make time for all things we deem important (work, family, friends, entertainment, etc.) When will Christ become important?

Take a minute for this one.

2011-12-10T14:23:00.001-05:00

Please Read THIS!

It expresses so much. Granted, I didn't leave for foreign soil. The year 2004 I left for a foreign land in Tennessee. Leaving friends, family, and a stable life. I came to a place where I lived on someone's futon for 8 months while working as an unpaid volunteer with a college degree. The year 2011 has brought much of the same change. Again, I have left a place of friends that seem like family, a home, and a stable life. Moved to a place where a friend of a friend had a spare bedroom I could use for the time. Attempting to connect with college students with the hope of being able to disciple as Matthew 28:19 talks about.

This is not about me and what I have gained or lost. It's not about the struggles or even the blessings of the Lord. It's about living for Christ and desiring to be obedient in this life, that is fleeting, more than comfortable. The Lord allows opportunities for all of us to live out obediently. The question is do we even know enough of Him to truly know what He is asking of us? My life has been marked with things that yours might not be at all. I assure though it can be marked with Christ if you are willing to let go of your own life and follow the Lord. Unfortunately, you can't follow Him in little bits and pieces. You'll miss the whole picture of who He is and what He is desiring to do to bring Himself glory!

Enough from me for now! Go read the other link posted above.

What now?

2011-12-10T00:44:00.001-05:00

For those that feel left out in the dark, no worries. Sometimes I kinda feel the same way. Last Monday night I arrived back to Benton for the week. There was a final meeting concerning some issues from Camp that I needed to go to. As Chris and I drove past my old house into campus I thought I was going to vomit. I helped build that house. Literally, it was built for me. Yet I completely walked away from it. What in the world is going on? How did we get to this point. I didn't enjoy being in the dining hall. Nor did I really enjoy being on campus. It just felt like everything was taken from us. It wasn't right nor fair in any way shape or form. During the Monday night meeting Ocoee Resort Ministries was totally dissolved. In one vote it was simply gone. How can they do that? I still have no idea.

It is what it is.

Rather than continuing to re-read what was it's best to move forward with what is to come.

Just got word today that there is a possible place for me to rent that is nothing fancy. It wasn't built for me. I didn't get to pick out the paint or floors. But it's fairly cheap and very close to the college where I desire to do discipleship ministry through. It has neighbors that need to know more of Christ. A couple of them are youth that attend a church through a bus ministry. It's not in a grand neighborhood. It's got an awkward layout. Apparently you walk through the bedroom to get to the kitchen. But does awkward layout matter when all you desire to do is use your home to express more of Christ to people? Does it matter that it's not fancy when you want to use the space to talk with others about Christ? Does it matter that the external beauty is not there in a living space when ultimately everything external in this world is fading quickly?

I am thankful for this unfancy and awkward space the Lord has provided. This whole transition really has been okay for the most part. Moving out of my house was tough. Mainly because I literally had no idea what I was doing or where I was going. I knew I needed to be in North Mississippi, but I had no specifics. Since then the Lord is laying things out little by little. I've had a great place to stay for a short while. This week I have the opportunity to check out a small unfacy and awkward place when I get back next week. Where ever He leads I'll go continues to be song daily ringing in my ears. Next I trust the Lord will provide a job.

This is just a brief update for those trying to figure out what now? Truly, I don't fully know yet other than I will continue to follow the Lord. Even when it doesn't make sense :)

Good quote

2011-12-10T00:43:00.001-05:00

Found this quote on Pinterest and thought it to be great truth.

2011-11-30T14:16:00.001-05:00

I wrote this on November 7th and posted it to Facebook.

Transitions

They are bound to happen in some form or fashion to us all. I compare transitions in life to the way we transition when we drive. Sometimes you can drive through places like Dallas or Atlanta traffic flawlessly driving in and out of the other cars. Then there are moments when the driving seems to be going flawlessly for you but the car in front of you feels differently as their break lights scream at your face. They are immediately stopping while you continue to go forward! Don't act like you don't know what that moment feels like where everything in your car goes flying forward from the lurching stop you have to make. If you've never experienced that you should come ride with me. I seem to get behind these ridiculous people all the time!

I do believe the Lord has been preparing me for transition for some time now. However, I had literally no idea how or when it was going to happen. The desire for ministry that my boss and I have shared for the past 7 years has been for discipleship. It has become more than apparent that people that are in leadership above us do not share this same calling. More or less our hands have become tied. This struggle has been going on for 2 years now. Finally, two weeks ago my boss and I decided it was time to step out in faith. We both resigned from our positions through Camp Agape & Ocoee Resort Ministries. Obviously this is the reader's digest version of all that has gone on during the past two years. The Lord is more than aware of the intimate details, but both of us knew it was time for us to end our service at the Camp.

The details of what is to come have been scarce because I literally had no idea what was to come. This fall I took a two week trip to visit some different places and seek the Lord concerning my future. The beautiful and equally frustrating part for me is that my options are basically endless. I am single and debt free. The sky truly is the limit for where I could go and what I could do. My deepest concern was to be obedient to where the Lord desired for me to be. Again, I have been seeking the Lord about this time of transition because I knew it was coming. I just had no idea it was coming so quickly.

Through much deliberate time with the Lord I am being lead towards collegiate ministry. A week from Monday I hope to begin a new time of ministry in New Albany, Mississippi and having the opportunity to connect with students at Blue Mountain College. There is potential for an on campus job that would be in the Fall of 2012. For right now my desire is to get a part time job to pay my bills and be able to spend my free time working with students.

Matthew 28:19 speaks of making disciples of all the nations. Not merely making converts into a certain way of thinking, but true disciples of the gospel of Jesus Christ. To disciple someone is to teach and train. It is my desire to have the opportunity to teach and train college students in the deep truth of scripture. Helping them step past the surface American culture Christianity that plagues our society.

This is a risk for me. I have no salary. I have no place to stay. I am leaving the extreme comforts of familiar people that the Lord brought into my life in Benton. This past Friday through a strange situation of me leaving my purse at a restaurant the Lord graciously reminded me of how He is going to take care me through this process. The same way He has taken care of me for the past 7 years. For those that do not know I moved to Tennessee in much of the same situation with no home or salary. I could speak for days on His provisions.

Two weeks ago I felt like I was traveling through heavy traffic but it was going well. Then came that car with their screaming break lights. And life has been in a whirlwind since then. I do believe the Lord is definitely walking me through this transition. At this time I still don't know how it's all going to work out. So, for now I just kind of laugh at the question, "Soooo (awkward pause) what are you going to do now that you quit your job?" The best I can express at this point is to continue following the Lord. Wherever He leads I'll go.

Your prayers of course are always appreciated. More than anything pray for my desperateness to be in the Lord's presence would grow during this time. I will keep everyone posted as to where I land when the dust settles and the break lights aren't still screaming in my face!

Faithfully following,

Lindsey

Great song

2011-11-18T22:52:00.001-05:00

Diamond in the Rough

2011-11-18T21:46:00.001-05:00

Are you waiting for what you want or are you waiting upon the Lord?

Waiting.

One will be characterized by fear, panic, and anxieties. The other will be marked by a renewed strength and a lack of weariness (Isaiah 40:31). Waiting is a natural part of life. Yet it is a part that our culture has tried to remove from society. Why wait on the oven to warm up when you can use the microwave? Why walk in to pay for gas when you can just do it at the pump? Why go in and sit down to eat when you can just drive through and be on your way? Why try to lose weight by eating better and working out when you could just take a pill? The list goes on and on. I am not against all modern conveniences. It just seems as a whole, often they have done more harm than good. While they make our external matters like cooking and pumping gas easier we are miserable inside because we want everything in this instant. When the Lord does not desire something to happen in an instant we reach a point of turmoil. Over what? Simply having to wait. Something that use to be a normal thing. Farmers waited for crops to grow. People waited for letters to be written and mailed. It seems so simple. Again, I am a huge fan of instant things like email and skype. However, it burdens me that these instant external things have hindered me internally. They have taught me impatience, greed and selfishness. They have distanced me from my Lord. They have taught me to be more concerned about me than Him.

Waiting.

What if we saw it as a gift rather than a curse? A time to relax and trust in the Lord. How would life change? It’s often times like getting the horrifically ugly outfit at Christmas. You feel forced to hold it up and express gratitude. The whole time in your mind thinking... “Please tell me there is a gift receipt! PLEASE LET THEIR BE A RECEIPT!!” You don’t want the gift. You force a smile thinking of how could they waste a gift for you on something like that!? What’s the focus here? YOU! How often do we treat the Lord with the same selfish mentality. He chooses a time and season for us. Waiting being where I have found myself more often than not. There are things about this season we know nothing of. Yet in the foreknowledge of Christ He knows this is exactly what you need. He knows that this waiting season will draw you closer to Him. It will steady your heart for tougher situations to come. It will help instill a greater hope and trust for things not of this earth! He knows. Bottom line. Christ knows best. Either we will learn to trust in His knowledge or we will continue to selfishly fight for our own desires. Missing out on our strength being renewed and our weariness being defeated.

Waiting.

While it might not be the diamond every girl dreams of being given. It most certainly is a diamond in the rough. The potential for greatness is there, but will only be seen after proper polishing and refinement. Polishing and refinement take time. A season of waiting is necessary. Waiting will always be an impossibility until our focus has been taken off of ourselves and placed on Christ. Waiting is not what causes the misery we go through. The misery is directly related to our selfishness as we are more consumed with getting what we want, than simply waiting upon the Lord. Are you willing to appreciate the diamond in the rough and wait for it’s beauty to come forth as the Lord sees fit?

Full Story

2011-05-10T20:53:00.002-04:00

I had no idea the Lord's intentions by opening up the opportunity at the Boys and Girls Club this past fall. There was an assurance that it indeed was something He desired for me to do, so I took the job. I experienced a array of possibilities in seven months.

In April I felt that I had done what I needed to and should finish the job on April 28th. That thought confused me for awhile because it was a good job, a real pay check, real adult insurance, ministry to children, and I enjoyed it (for the most part). Then the Lord reminded me He had always been faithful in providing for me and would continue to do so. It also became apparent that I was not getting the one on one counseling time I wanted to get with the children. On March 29th I informed my boss that April 28th would be my last day. He said he would reluctantly take my resignation.

As April 28th drew near I had a better understanding. While the Lord allowed me to interact with children. While He showed me I can do more than I ever realized I could. While He taught me that it's okay to fail at something. He also used me to insanely organize the entire Boys & Girls Club.

Every single article in that facility was inventoried by a local college volunteer group. No stone was left unturned! Rules were posted on the walls. Schedules were created to try and adhere too. The front desk stayed clean, day in and day out. Cubbies were built to keep the children's things safe and organized. I got an email at the beginning on March that stated our facility had to be DOE (Department of Education) certified by the beginning of June. The organizational stuff is what is required for such certification. Ooohhhh... I understood it better at that moment. Getting it straightened up was what I needed to do. Getting to connect with the children was what I got to do.

That made it easier to walk away from. Since April 28th we've had two different groups at Camp. I have traveled to North Mississippi to move a friend out of her college dorm. Tonight was the first night I have been home while the sun was still out!

April 28th was also the day I finished up my school. Praise the Lord! Not only did I finish for the semester. I finished for my lifetime! Grades are in and I officially have a Master's in Biblical Counseling. In the past week I have read two books that I got to choose!

Summertime is fast approaching. Summer missionaries will be here May 23rd. Let the good times keep rollin'.

Yes

2011-04-21T09:16:00.003-04:00

I am still alive.

April 28th will be my last day at the Boys & Girls Club.

April 29th-30th we have a group I'm helping to feed at Camp.

May 1st is my last day of school including finals and a book review.

May 2-3 I am running away.

I shall return back to real life on May 4th.

May 6th our first mission team of the summer arrives.

Life is good...

In the mean time check out this great song.

Heavy Load

2011-02-11T09:43:00.003-05:00

I took the weight of their world home on my shoulders last night. Several tough conversations with some of my teen girls just broke my heart yesterday. The things they have to experience and feel... They simply are not fair. I have such a beautiful, loving and simple life, but they do not.

One of the girls came in my office and just stood there. Then she asked for some tape. So, I gave it to her and she left. Then she came back asking for some scissors. I gave those to her and she left. Then she brought them both back so I finally asked what was wrong. After 10 minutes of convincing her I was the smartest person in the world and I knew she wasn't just tired but for some reason her heart was hurting she finally broke down. All I could do was sit and listen.

Finally I looked at her and told her that almost everyday I wanted to take her and her brother home with me. She just grinned. I explained how it wasn't fair what she was going through and I had no way to fix it. This girl actually goes to church on occasion so we then got to talk about the Lord. She learned a huge word called sovereignty... She learned about how Satan's greatest tool is to make is think that lies are truth and that truth is just lies... I expressed to her how taking her from her hurts wouldn't help her in the long run because one day she was going to be able to help people that hurt just like her. However, that wasn't going to happen until God began to heal her hurts first. Then I reassured her the full possibilities of God being a Healer.

Sovereignty is a tough one to understand for anyone. I struggled with it all night last night. At the end of the day though God is still God. And there is not one single thing on this earth He is unaware of. Please keep praying for these children as the only hope they truly have is the Lord. Most people that I know are able to rely on family, jobs, credit cards, etc for love and provision. This child will have neither of those. She will either turn to the Lord or the world will overtake her. It's that simple. There is no middle class or middle ground like most of us have.

Here's the reality though...

In a sense she is so much better off then we will ever be. If and when she realizes that she fully desires to surrender her life to Christ she will be so much more devoted than we are. Our lives are so distracted with stupid things that are only found in this world. We claim to love the Lord yet the temporal things of this world mean so much more than anything eternal. So, should I pray for her to have a life that's more comfortable like mine or should I be praying I have a life more desperate like hers?

That's the question for today...

Haiti #5: Haiti Highlights

2011-02-04T21:00:00.004-05:00

There are lots of other post to read before this one about Haiti!

Soccer
One afternoon we walked to another community to play some soccer. Soccer is HUGE basically everywhere in the world other than America. So here goes three white guys, a white girl and a translator to play soccer. We are all fully prepared for a humbling experience due to our lack of soccer intensity. During the walk we end up being taken to a church in this area that had been greatly impacted by the earthquake. I use the word "church" as in building very loosely. We would not have considered it a building by any stretch of the imagination, but the Haitians did.

While the guys were inside talking to some of the local men I found some kids outside and used the power of tickling. It's such a universal connector. The kids giggled and laughed as this white person chased them around. We moved on after a bit to the soccer field. After this we were taken by a few of the homes of people in this area to pray with them.

Then to the soccer field. Part of the field was soccer field and part was a tent city. It was the largest wide open space in the community so they had to put up tents there. Several children ran out to us to see what we were doing. Again I just tickled and played tag with them for awhile. The more we ran around the more it seemed to draw the children out. Two of the guys began to play soccer withs some of the boys while I continued playing with the girls and little kiddos.

Then I decided to try to express to them the greatest thing in the world. As I knelt on the ground they all gathered around. One of them stepped on my skirt and got it dirty which made one of the older girls start yelling like crazy at the little one. Then she kneels down to wipe off the foot print. That was amazing to watch. Anyways... I drew a cross in the ground and said "Jezi" that means Jesus. Then I drew a heart in the dirt and they taught me how to say love. For the next 10 minutes through drawings in the sand they got to hear how Jesus loves them.

Orphanage

We spent an afternoon at an orphanage. It was large in size because it wasn't just an orphanage. A local pastor and his wife had six children of their own. After the earthquake they took in another twelve children. Tents were set up in the backyard to house these children. Each child actually had a bed or at least a blow up mattress. For our American standards it was much, but for Haiti these children were well cared for.

This was Thursday afternoon and God had continued on with his theme for me to be still (Psalm 46:10). I didn't interact tons with the children. More than anything I found myself just watching them only playing with a few of them. We were walking out of the gate and this little girl grabs me and wants my undivided attention. I stop and look at her as she is trying to speak to me in Creole. Once she finally understands I can't understand anything she's saying she starts singing. Below you will see what she sings to me in perfect English.

Thank you for loving me.

Thank you for being faithful to come and love me.

She sings those three lines over and over.

I hug her and walk out the gate.

As we were walking back to our house I walked in tears. Asking the Lord why He allowed such a beautiful thing to happen to me. Psalm 46:10 comes up again. Apparently I had been missing a critical part of that verse as God shared what I had been forgetting when I re read it once we got home.

Psalm 46:10 "Cease striving (or Be Still) and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth."

You see I am a habitual worker by nature. I love to do and accomplish things. During this mission trip doing was not what I did the most of. In that moment God was reminding me that He will be exalted among the nations! How else do you describe a little Haitian girl singing completely perfect english to me? Doing isn't always God's answer. Sometimes being still is His desire because in the end HE WILL BE EXALTED AMONG THE NATIONS. His word promises us that.

Friday morning

Thursday morning at the VBS I noticed a little girl in the back sitting down. I walked back there to see what she was doing. Turns out her little brother had fallen asleep and she laid him on a piece of plywood. I went back and wordlessly expressed to her I would sit with him and watch him. This is what I did Thursday at VBS. When this little guy finally woke up he did what most do, he tickled. Only difference is he was not wearing any diaper. My heart began to break. His sister happened to come back over at this point so she stood him up and we took his shorts off of him. Then I put him in my arms and held him for a long while so she could go play with the other children.

Friday morning as we walked to the VBS I see my little friend waddling through the streets as he is barely old enough to walk. I put him in my arms and carry him to the church with me. This morning started as the rest with singing. Some of the songs were fun but there was one in particular that was repetitive. We repeated Hallelujah several times. Then we repeated the words Merci Jezi. If we were in American we would have repeated Thank you Jesus.

At that moment I was broken. Here I sat holding a little baby Haitian in my arms who had fallen asleep while we were singing. While other little ones were pushing to sit closer and closer to me. We sang the same song worshiping the same God. We came from two different worlds yet at that moment all had the same heart beat.

I had some intense flashbacks to the video I said was shared to me about a little boy named Hudson. I cried more this morning than I had all week as I wept over this child praying for his life as he was still fast asleep.

Below is the video...

My profile picture is my little Hudson. I call him that because I have no idea what his name was, but I will never forget feeling his heartbeat as he slept in my arms. Nor will I ever forget hearing those words... "This is my Hudson."

I know this has been a long post but if you have another 8 minutes please watch this video.

Still coming.

2011-01-29T20:45:00.002-05:00

More about Haiti to come. Must take a break for the day though.

Haiti #4: Day 2-5

2011-01-29T18:55:00.005-05:00

Go back a few post to read those first!

It was rather strange to wake up on a couch in another country. You wake up to different sounds, sites, and smells. Rather than seeing walls around you I open my eyes to look over the balcony and see rubble in Haiti. I hear Haitian voices up and going as well as the goats and chickens that talked all night. My first night I slept like a rock.

Each day we woke up around 6:30 and started getting ready for the day. With no distractions of phone, internet, television, or really anything else spending time in the Word seemed easier. Being in a place where I knew I needed the Lord to get me threw also proved another reason to be in His presence. It wasn't an option, but a necessity.

Breakfast consisted of whatever granola bars you brought to eat. Brushing your teeth was done by water you used from your water bottle. They brought us big bottles of water each day that we filled our water bottles up with. Then as a group we gathered to seek the Lord through His word. These were amazing times each morning as 18 people form 18 different backgrounds gathered for a common cause. To know the Lord more fully.

There were a few people on the team that came with a friend, but as a whole no one knew each other before the trip. The youngest was 18 and the oldest was 52. Most were around my age group and still single. It was encouraging to see that. Being stuck out in the hills of Tennessee I often feel like I must be the only person living a crazy life like I do. I am not is what I learned on this trip. There is a generation of people out there who's desire is to serve the Lord through their years of singleness, yet still have a true heart's desire for marriage one day.

After our time together we prepared for the VBS with a school down the street. There was probably around 100-200 or so children the throughout the week and it was INSANE! There school seemed to be about 12 ft x 12ft building. I'm sure it was bigger than that but it was not very big at all. Whew, it was a small space!! Different groups prepared different activities such as songs, crafts, bible study, games. I didn't feel a strong pull towards any of the groups so when we got there I just went out among the children.

I sat among the children just holding them, giving them high fives and trying to communicate as well as possible. Mostly they liked to feel the hair on my arms the first day. On day 2 a few of the girls must have spent an entire hour playing with my hair. It felt totally different from their hair.

After an exhausting VBS time we would head back to our house for lunch which was peanut butter sandwiches and chips each day.

Afternoon times consisted of different things. A couple of the days we broke up into smaller groups and went door to door with a translator speaking to people about the Lord. One afternoon we went to an orphanage at a pastor's house. He and his wife already had six children and had taken in twelve more children. Then one afternoon I went a couple of guys to another community to play soccer. That was an incredible afternoon. One afternoon I went with a group to help remove rubble from their church that had basically collapsed during the earthquake. Lots of different things were done during our afternoons.

Dinner was cooked by the people who's house we were staying in. It was amazing! Basically it was a meat, rice/beans, fried potatoes, fried plantains and something else I'm not sure what it was. Looked to be a salad of some sort... Resembled my grandmother's jello salad stuff. Yeah, I didn't try it. The rest of the food was AWESOME!! One night I heard someone talking about how this meat tasted different. Then someone else said it was beef. I then ask if anyone had seen any cows since we had been in Haiti? Negative. It was goat. And it was good!

In the evenings after dinner we would go back to the church where they were actually having revival. Then we'd come home and usually hang out on the roof top with everyone talking about the day.

After the first night, Val and I slept up on the roof under the stars. It was BEAUTIFUL!! Especially on nights when all the power was out because the stars were so bright. Everyone learned to keep flashlights readily available as the power outages were often and even comical.

I have no idea how to write in words about each day but that basically hits the highlights. I'm going to explain the rest of the highlights through a few more post.

Haiti #3: Finally, Day 1

2011-01-29T14:27:00.007-05:00

Read here, here, and here first. And to look at pictures go here.

Then move onto this post!

Just in case you were wondering... Yes, I was concerned about going on this trip. Riots, cholera, here's the biggest one though... People I don't know. Not a happy thought for me. It's been true since my younger days that I do not play well with others. Especially, strangers. It's Monday morning and I'm thinking the same thoughts I had been thinking for over a month.

What in the world am I doing?

WHAT WAS I THINKING?!?

I don't know anyone. I'm going to a place where people keep dying. I'm exhausted from my new job and would really like to take a week and just rest. What was I thinking??!!?

Then I remember the video I talked about in my last post about a boy named Hudson.

If a riot happens. God will take care of me. If I get cholera. God will take care of me. How will I see hurting children and not be able to help. God will take care of me. Amongst a group of strangers. God will take care of me. This trip is about the Lord, not me. Again... He says to be still and know that He is God.

I get up bright and early that morning and head to Atlanta airport. Once I get to the gate I meet up with the guy I'm flying with. He's an 18 yr old kid who seems to love the Lord. We fly to Miami and hang out for several hours. On the flight to Haiti from Miami he gets real nervous. I finally ask why...

He had lost his wallet.

Long story short someone in Miami turned his wallet in and called his mom! wow!!

The flight to Haiti other than that was great. I sat next to a couple who was going to work with Samaritan's purse to help with cholera. We had great discussions about the Lord that reminded me He had indeed sent me on this trip even for that moment.

When we landed in Haiti and my feet hit Haitian ground I felt one of those beautiful calm moments. I was suppose to be here. Despite the past few months of dramatics. I was right where I was suppose to be.

Praise the Lord for that feeling because little did I know the next few hours of chaos that were coming.

Adventures in Missions had 3 teams in Haiti the week I was there. When we got to the airport we met up with some folks from the the other teams. They eventually met up with their leaders. Alex (the guy I flew with), myself and Val another girl on our team were still at the airport looking for a bag of Val's. Turns out it didn't make it. Most everyone is gone now but us and some Haitians. In walks an American guy with an Adventures in Mission shirt on. He was like I think ya'll are suppose to be with us. We ask about our leaders. He then informs us that that trip (the one we were suppose to be on) wouldn't be starting until Wednesday because the rest of the team (other than us) was stuck up north in the blizzard. Oh great.

The three of us just kind of looked at each other like. Oh okay.

So we just loaded up and went with this guy.

The bus ride felt like it took FOREVER!!! It's well after dark now and we left Atlanta at 7:45am. The roads were not roads. They were paths with potholes big enough to sink a ship in. On this great ride we realize chaos moment # 2. One of the girls on this team talks about bringing her tent has a carry on. I look at Val and asked if she brought a tent. She said no.

You see, our team was not suppose to bring tents, but there team was. Awesome. Here we are with no team and now no tent. Still, I am suppose to be here.

We get to the house where the other team is. Well, we get close to it. Due to the rubble our bus can't actually fit down the street so we have to get off the bus and walk in the dark down the street a little ways to the house with all our luggage.

We get into the house and that's when I realize culture difference #1. The electricity there only works on occasion. So, we walk in this dark house and have to get out our flash lights. There is some food on a table and we go get some of that. Here I sit in a dark room with about 15 other people I don't know eating food I can't see. Then I have to pee.

Oh the bathroom is right there. Then I hear... (Culture difference #2) By the way don't flush the toilet paper, put it in the trashcan. I walk into the bathroom and shut the door. Looking for the light switch. Junk! there's no electricity and I left my flash light by my food. I manage to go and find toilet paper and the trash can in the dark. Then I get up to wash my hands and realize no wait you can't use the water or I might die of cholera! Last thing I want to do is poop myself to death. Oh dear it's going to be a long week.

I go back to my plate as I'm eating I hear someone talk about what it is. I comment that the piece of meat had a good spice to it. Then I hear someone say, "oh you must have eaten a piece of goat." Luckily it was dark so my expression wasn't seen. As I think my gag reflexes kicked in a bit. Then I realized. It tasted really good! Who cares if it was goat!

The night rolls on. We have to wash our dishes. In the dark. In a bucket of water with lots of bleach by using flashlights. Good times.

We load up 11 people. Luggage for 9 people. In a truck meant to carry 5 people. As many of us are sitting on top of our luggage in the back of our truck our leader tells us to try and not draw attention to ourselves.

I look at one of the people on my team and said. It's after dark. We have 6 white people hanging on for dear life in this truck with a Haitian driver... How do we not draw attention?

Finally we make it to the house we are staying at. Turns out Val and I found two couches under a covered "porch." We stayed here the first night because the locals said it was suppose to rain so we shouldn't be on the roof with no tent. I got my ear plugs out and passed out to the faint sound of chickens, goats, and Haitians scurrying about. Val borrowed stuff she didn't have in her carry on and we discussed the chaos of the day before we went to sleep. I realized through her God was already taking care of me. I do better with one on one. Had we been in our own tents that night Val and I wouldn't have shared the time together that we did. The chaos was a blessing.

What a day.

Oh and by the way... After I left Miami and had to tell my family I would talk to them on Saturday. There was no way for me to contact them once I got there. I was worried they wouldn't sleep all week. I fall asleep that night hoping they were resting because I was perfectly okay.

Haiti #2: Pre-trip dramatics

2011-01-29T13:38:00.010-05:00

Refer to previous post of Haiti #1 prior to reading this one.

So, I know I'm going to Haiti. I don't remember the exact timeline of everything but I remember not telling many people at all at first. I'm pretty sure I paid for the trip before I told hardly anyone. Then I had to get shots, shots, and more shots. A physical so I could say I had a doctor since I never go to one. All I kept thinking was this is getting pricey! Then I would have a random person from here and there hand me cash which oddly enough seemed to pay the bill that I held in my other hand. Between what I had in savings and other money God provided the trip was paid for.

Then comes the cholera in Haiti.

Not good...

Then come the riots in Haiti.

Again, not good.

Oh and did I mention I started a new job during all this process too at the Boys and Girls Club. Originally had trip scheduled for November, but backed it up to December because of new job. Just in time for the riots to get good and heavy! That change in date made my plane ticket go from 350 up to $800. Awesome.

One day I thought who would have ever believed it would be safer to go to Africa...

I was questioning the Lord about this trip one day and I went back to Psalm 46 where He spoke again.

Psalm 46:6-9a "The nations rage, the kingdoms totter; he utters his voice, the earth melts. The Lord of hosts is with us: the God of Jacob is our fortress. Selah. Come, behold the works of the Lord, how he has brought desolations on the earth. He makes wars cease to the end of the earth: he breaks the bow and shatters the spear: he burns the chariots with fire. Be still and know that I am God..."

He makes wars to cease. It didn't matter that a couple of weeks prior to my departure, flights were cancelled because of war. I was still suppose to go.

I planned it to where I left for Texas on December 19-26. The 26th I flew back to Atlanta and changed my bags that were already packed in my car. Spent the night in Atlanta and got up early Monday morning December 27th the fly to Haiti.

So, I am packing for two weeks going to two totally different places on Dec. 17. My house was destroyed!

And I can't find my passport.

I thought it was in a certain spot earlier in the week. I think I kept avoiding looking for it because I had no idea what I would do if I couldn't find it. Wednesday I looked where I thought it should be. It was not there. That's okay it's probably in my office. Thursday revealed it was not in my office. Oh crap! The secretary at camp even went through my office too. No luck. I'll find it. There is one more place it could be in my house. Friday night revealed it was not there either. OH CRAP!!

Late Friday night or should I say early Saturday morning I go to bed with tears in my eyes. I said okay God if I haven't found it by tomorrow at lunch I will email and tell them I cannot make it on this trip. Saturday morning I search my entire house AGAIN!

In a wicker box next to my TV was a stack of Southern Living Magazines. In the middle of that stack of magazines I found my passport. First thought? Who in the world put that there??

Whew passport found. Rejoicing was heard throughout my house! I finished packing that day for both trips. Two bags, two carry ons, two different trips.

Sang with the choir for Christmas Sunday morning and headed to Atlanta then Texas on Monday morning.

Tuesday got up and started calling around because I still don't have my Malaria pills or the 47 other pills and precautionary things my dear sweet mom wanted me to have. They can't get me an appointment until the next day and it's in Dallas, ugh. Wednesday I load up my niece and nephew and we venture to Dallas! What a fun day.

Get back that night and the company I am going with sends out an email that basically says... Hey things are still unsafe in Haiti so if you want to cancel your trip please feel free to do so for a full refund. What?? Sorry, but no I didn't inform my family of this one. I had to pray about this. At this point I am still concerned too because it's just dangerous. I feel the Lord use Psalm 46:10 again for me to be still and know that He is God. And I remember a video shared by another sweet and wonderful friend of mine and thought about a little boy named Hudson.

Friday night my brother calls and said, "Sis you need to check the weather in Atlanta, I just heard they are canceling flights." I was suppose to fly out on Sunday. I thought you have GOT TO BE KIDDING ME! Sure enough I check the weather. Atlanta is suppose to be having their first white Christmas on Saturday since 1882. YES, THE YEAR 1882!

What do I do? I sat in awe for awhile. Then finally decided Saturday I would get up and pack my bags assuming that Sunday I will fly out. Sure enough they were canceling flights on Saturday. Actually most all flights other than American Airlines were canceled for the weekend.

I flew to Atlanta Sunday and landed amidst snowflakes. I got to the place where I parked my car and found a nearby hotel. It had arrived. I would be leaving for Haiti in just a few hours.

Whew... I sat alone in a hotel room amidst my thoughts.

There was still potential for riots to outbreak while I was there. There were still people dying from cholera which is found in water that I would be in contact with. The snow was falling in Atlanta at the airport. As I tried to lay down to sleep that night I kept sneezing and coughing. Apparently, I was allergic to whatever the bedding was made out of. So, I got out my sleeping pad I would be using in Haiti and my blanket and slept on the floor that night of this swanky hotel. Preparing my mind and body for the week ahead.

Haiti Pictures

2011-01-29T13:33:00.002-05:00

Check out my pictures HERE!

Will work on videos later.

On this page you can also see other pictures from people that were on the trip. Take time to look at those as well! they look way more than I did.

Haiti #1: Who, what, when, where and why of Haiti

2011-01-29T12:52:00.003-05:00

Since high school I can remember having a desire to go on an international mission trip. I didn't really know anyone who had ever been, but I knew it was something that would be part of my life. A few years ago I was able to go to Egypt and it was a great experience. Traveling across the world by myself was a little tough, but still awesome. Especially my spur of the moment bus trip into Paris. Anyways... Back to Haiti.

For several years I have looked off and on for another mission trip to go on. It had been a long time since I could remember sitting down to search for a trip online before this past September. Summer had come to a close and I was landing from that ride when I spent one evening looking up a possible trip. I knew my schedule was soon to slow down and I felt the desire to go... That night it had also been awhile since I had had uninterrupted time with the Lord so I turned off all electronics and spent time with Him. Later that night is when I turned on the computer to look for a trip. In my search I found two different trips with groups I knew people had had good experiences with.

One trip was to Haiti and one was to Africa. The Africa one cost ALOT more money, but I've always wanted to go to Africa. I was torn. Money wasn't an issue. Not because I have a large amount, but because God has never not provided for me. I knew He would. I turned off the computer and got back to His word. Somehow I ended up on Psalm 46. You should go read it. I will tell you the verse where I knew I was being told where to go...

Psalm 46:1-3 "God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way, though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam, though the mountains tremble at is swelling."

Haiti had be ravished by an earthquake (vs. 2)! All they have left is to know that God is their refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble (vs.1). I knew I was going to Haiti at that moment. Then came the flood of questions of how, when, why, etc...

I got off the computer and turned my phone back on to which I had a voicemail. It was the voice of a summer missionary who has turned into an amazing friend. She was leading worship for her church that night and decided to sing one of her songs for me. Since I didn't answer she left a voicemail. She was singing "Our God" by Chris Tomlin.

I wept as I heard her singing because again I knew God was answering my questions of how in the world I would go on this trip and why I would go. I would go because our God is greater! And I felt that I was going to encourage Haiti to look to our great God! I cried alot that night because I knew the Lord had spoken to me. And I cried because I knew I was going on an international trip which was a long standing request I had made to the Lord. This all happened the beginning of September...

Finally... Haiti.

2011-01-29T12:25:00.007-05:00

I know it's been far too long with no words on Haiti. Today I am working on putting pictures online for you to see. I didn't take tons, but I do have a good bit of videos. Now, I'm trying to figure out the best way to put those online cause I got a loooot of them.

It's crazy to think that this time one month ago I was sleeping on a roof in Haiti...

To be honest I haven't really even looked back at my pictures very much since I got back. The trip was awesome I just can't figure out how to put it into words to where it would make sense to anyone. Due to my cheapness I brought back some rocks from Haiti. I'm not sure if that was completely legal, but I didn't see any signs that said I couldn't. Part of me thinks that re-telling what happened will be like looking at those rocks. To me those rocks say a million different things. But to everyone else, they are just rocks. Similar to what you can pick up out of your driveway. For me those rocks represent sites, sounds, smells, and faces that will never be forgotten. Bare with me as I try to explain some of that to a few folks who have patiently waited to hear.

I jotted down notes from each day so I suppose I will just do a blog entry per day...

So for the next little while...

Welcome to Haiti from my eyes.

Winter wonderland

2011-01-10T22:35:00.003-05:00

Not a drop of precipitation on the ground when I went to sleep last night.

Below is what I woke up to this morning! It was beautiful!

Nine days ago I was wearing sandals in Haiti... Today I put on my

knee high mud boots to keep my feet dry when a friend came to pick me up.

Desi update

2011-01-10T22:23:00.002-05:00

Two months later and Desi's heart is beginning to have glimpses of a softness. Before Christmas break one day I walked into the Club from picking up kiddos and I hear Desi call my name. She comes over to me and says, "Guess what!?!" So I ask, "What?" Then this is what she says with a huge smile...

"I had a great day today!"

I just grinned and hugged her! A day that was not miserable for Desi. What a joy...

After Christmas break I come in after picking up kids again and find 3 pictures on my desk all by none other than Ms. Desi! Still not 100% sure what I'm doing at that place, but Desi does not feel miserable everyday.

Yes, I went to Haiti over Christmas break. I have pictures and videos that I am working on getting on my computer as I type this blog.

Stay tuned for more...

Still unsure...

2010-11-16T09:20:00.004-05:00

I still am very unsure of how to run a Boys & Girls Club. Granted, I'm only two weeks into it. There is a part of me though that just doesn't have a desire to know how to "run it". I go pick up one of our schools up each day at 2:30. By the time I get back most of the other kids are there. I walk in the door and typically hear my name from different angles.

All genuinely important issues such as...

We are out of trash bags.

Do you know where the pool stick is?

So and so needs you to pick them up at 4 today.

So and so called and needs you to call them back.

So and so is about to get a pink slip (not a good thing) if they don't calm down will you go talk to him.

So and so, so and so, so and sooooo....

Then I see Desire walk by with her gloomy face as usual, arms folded across her chest. I ignore the other voices so I can kneel down and ask...

Hey Desire how's your day been?

Awful! It's just terrible and I hate it!

Desi, what's going on?

I just hate everything.

Let's go finish your snack and you can tell me what's going with your horrible day.

Whatever. I don't care.

(If I walk off and pretend I don't care I often hear this as I walk off.)

HEY! YOU SAID YOU WERE COMING OVER HERE?!

These are the things I want to do. Sit and hear there little hearts. Desi is typically angry at the world. She usually needs more than a short conversation too.

She is just one.

Generally, there are about 25 others from 6-12 years old. Then in the teen room there might be 5-10 of them. I want to hear about each of their days. I try to come in and say hey to each of them and genuinely connect. Time keeps running out before I can get this task accomplished though! As well as answering other questions... Dealing with the ones in trouble... Answering the phone... Going to buy trash bags... Connecting with my staffers to make sure there day has gone well... Finding the broom...

The job is going fine. Just still trying to grasp it all.

Pray for Desi today. She really has lots of anger built up in a her that no little girl should have.

On the road again (actually in the sky again...)

2010-11-07T00:30:00.005-04:00

On December 27th I'll be flying out of Atlanta to head to Haiti for a week. This has brought about different responses from different people. The funniest one was from one of my friends kiddos. I mentioned to him that I was going to Haiti a few weeks ago. Then I told him recently that I bought my ticket for Haiti. He just looks at me and said, "You are seriously going there?" I said, "Yeah!" I went on to explain about the group I was going with, and how I didn't know anyone but they take trips weekly there so I felt pretty comfortable going with them.

He gets a look of relief on his face. I asked what he was thinking. He went on to explain how he thought I was just flying down there by myself to just walk around and do whatever. I assured him I was going with a group of people that have been there before. His 13 year old concern was cute!

So to be clear I am going with a group called Adventures in Missions. They have been doing trips since the earthquake last year and are working with local pastors to best meet the needs of the people. On Friday at the club I was working with some of the pre-teens on researching information for their 4H speeches. During the middle of this I had one of them look up about the hurricane coming towards Haiti so we got to sit and talk about Haiti and the destruction going on there. One girl decided to change her speech to talk about Haiti. Of course by Monday she might have decided to change it again but we'll see.

I'll post more about this trip hopefully soon.

Friday adventures

2010-11-07T00:17:00.002-04:00

I had in my mind that Friday would be different from the rest of the week. It's Friday! Good things come on Friday...

I found out about a staff meeting in Cleveland at 12:22. Meeting starts at 12:45 and I'm about to get in the shower to clean up after cleaning at camp. My thoughts... Well, crap!

Finally got to the meeting at 1pm. Meeting still happening at 2:20. At 2:30 I was suppose to leave on the van to pick up kids. Seriously, going to be late AGAIN! That's a personal pet peeve of mine, being late. At 2:25 I lean over and express that I have to leave and walk out of the meeting while our Executive Director is talking. I figure I'll hear about that on Monday. Oh well... Luckily, I contacted a staffer to go pick up the kids.

Finally get back to the club for one of my favorite moments.

Part of the kids we pick up and part are brought on a bus. I love being there when the bus gets there because I go outside and get to hug or high five each of them as they get off the bus.

Then I got to hang out with the teens for a bit while they did there snack which was fun getting to hear about their days and weekend plans.

Friday at the club was good. It was just the meeting before hand that threw me for a loop.

Who knows what next week will hold...

I will be implementing some Club Guidelines AKA THE RULES!

1. Be Respectful

2. Be Honest

3. Be Kind

4. Be Safe

5. Be Joyful

The thought is to take a week for each of those and go over them on a daily basis for the younger ones and begin developing their minds to understand what we expect of them. These guidelines are also what each child will receive from us as staffers. That might not seem like a big deal until you meet these kids. They live in places where there is little respect, honesty, kindness or happiness.

4 days later

2010-11-04T21:42:00.002-04:00

4 days later and I question can I really go back tomorrow?

First full week at the Boys and Girls club has been interesting to say the least...

Fun from the week...

It's 2:45 and finally our van gets out of the shop. We are suppose to leave at 2:30 to pick up the kids.

It's 2:30 another day and I go start the van to pick up kids... Oh yeah, it won't start. I call my "boss" and he simply says he really hates to hear that happening on my first week. Go ahead and give him a call back when you figure out what to do... 4 phone calls later, I had a van and a driver leaving at 3 to go pick up kids we were suppose to leave at 2:30 to pick up.

"Out of order" sign on the bathroom from last week apparently. It was bad... bad news... Got a plunging work out that day. Got it running.

Health inspector decides to show up! She shows me of another stopped toilet. Great, that's a critical violation.

And on this same day as the other two toilets that had to be plunged I get a third call of my name to go check the toilet because it won't flush. I use my Camp Agape maintenance skills and determine that we now have no water! Luckily, it was five and most kids were gone.

I find out Monday that Tuesday we have to be open 8-5 instead of 3-8.

Lady who is suppose to help for lunch doesn't show up on the 8-5 day or the rest of the week to help with snack.

I get an email about needing to make sure we are brining in "child certificates" to help our funding. My response to that email looked something like. "Sounds great, what the heck are those?!"

I came home and cried Monday and Tuesday. Part exhaustion. Part overwhelmed.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

There has been absolutely no office/administrative work done this week amidst the fun.

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Everyday though I have had at least one good conversation with a child, and learned about their unfair lot in life. It breaks my heart. Makes me just want to wrap my arms around them and bring them back to my house.

This week I learned of a 6 year old who watched his dad's porn at the age of 4. Which in turn makes him walk around talking about sex.

There is a 13 year old who is in alternative school for the rest of the year due to drugs. He is convinced he will never make anything out of his life. He says he'll end up just like his dad, which is not the best role model in the world.

Today I helped calm down an 11 year old who had been going crazy all day. Turns out he feels like people are picking on him. Not the case but he feels like it is. I promised him that would not happen within the walls of our club. He went about the rest of the day very calm and peaceful. Who knows what he'll be like tomorrow.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

It's Thursday and I'm still thinking what in the world have I signed up to do?! Oh my word... It's been a great mix of Camp and Club this week as I had buildings to get ready to use this weekend at camp amidst the club fun. Almost one week later and I still have no idea how to run a club. I'll keep you posted on the day I finally figure out how to do that. In the mean time please be in prayer for the kids at the Club. Majority of them have no one to pray for them. I hope to change that for the time they are in my care.

Boys and Girls Explanation

2010-10-31T16:36:00.004-04:00

About two months ago I began praying about my fall time. We do still have plenty of camp work that needs to be taken care but I typically also have more flexible time at work to do different things. During this specific day I thought of several local ministry sites that I should be more intentional about spending time with them (Boys & Girls club, Angel Wing's Daycare, Copper Basin Crisis Center). Another thought I also had was about wanting to be around more people with the intent to share Christ with. I had the idea to do this and earn some extra money I could substitute teach a couple of days a week.

More than anything I was desiring something that took me beyond my comfort zone. I had just finished reading Crazy Love and Forgotten God and Radical . I went on a crazy reading binge after summer and before my school got started. All these books were great reminders that the Gospel is true and it is real. And I do have a responsibility to daily live that Gospel out in my life before a lost a dying world. Even if it's uncomfortable and inconvenient. They all also had the note of challenge to them. Not just feel good books about how we should love Jesus more. They called their readers to make some choices.

All that lead me to be praying for my fall and how to be intentional. That was Sat - Monday. Monday evening at 5 I get a phone call from the lady who was the director at the club. I told her I had been thinking about her so it was funny that she should call. She said she thought she knew why I had been thinking of her. I explained that I wanted to spend more time there this fall spring truly investing in the kids. She just begins to laugh. She said well that's funny. I am resigning and want you to take my position as the director.

I just sat there. I said that's a little more involvement then I had in mind. However, I will pray about it for a few days. We talked for a minute and then we got of the phone. I just sat there for awhile thinking what in the world?

I spent some time praying about it and asking God if this was His idea of moving me beyond my comfort zone and how I had intended to take some small steps this fall and perhaps bigger ones next spring. Then I called a few friends to tell them of the situation and ask for their thoughts and prayers.

That Friday I was leaving town so I told her I'd try to have an answer.

I freaked out basically for 3 days. What in the world? How does that and camp work? How do you run a boys and girls club? And of course a MILLION OTHER QUESTIONS floated in my head for several days. I went that next day to interact with the kids to get a feel for what God might be doing. I knew when I left that day this job would be fulfilling the prayers I had. These kids come from junk. Pure and simple JUNK. There home lives are not what they should be. They lack the adult love and encouragement that every kid needs and should have.

I got in my car pretty much just cried on the drive home. This is an opportunity the Lord had provided but it scared me to death. Over the next few days I continued to pray just to make sure I was understanding things right... I went back to see the kids on Wednesday as well. Again I left with complete brokenness for their little lives.

At this point I still had no idea how to run a club but I called the director on Thursday, which was a day earlier than she had thought. With hesitation and part confusion I told her I had no idea how it was going to work but I was suppose to take the job. She got way excited! When she asked me to do it she said that they had someone else they wanted to bring in from Cleveland but she told them she didn't want anyone from Cleveland. In the best interest of the club and the kids it should be someone from Benton. She said as she thought about it I was the person she kept thinking about as someone who would care as much about the kids as she does.

Well, it's been a crazy unorganized process filled with lots of moments of me thinking perhaps I made the wrong decision, but I start Monday, November 1st.

No, I still don't know how to run a Boys and Girls Club.

No, I still don't know how this will work out perfectly with Camp.

Yes, I have fallen completely for the kids!

I trust the Lord will show me the rest as I need to understand it.

I hate art!

2010-10-27T22:04:00.003-04:00

Today at the Boys and Girls Club I heard my name called a lot. The kiddos had no recess at school and no outside time at the club. That is simply not a good situation. One of the times where I heard, "Miss Lindsey..." I turn around to see little 6 yr old Mr. Connor walking my way. Hands folded over his chest and he is NOT happy. His teacher tells me he has thrown three fits and he won't listen to her. I kneel to hear his side of the story. Arms folded and words borderline yelling he says, "I hate art. I hate drawing. I hate it!"

We discuss why and he just says he hates it. We talk about how at the club art is one of the things he gets to do. When he goes home he doesn't have to do art at all. All he will have to do at home is eat, sleep, play and do whatever else his mom tells him too. Absolutely NO ART!

Then we talk about what he's suppose to be drawing which was some sort of halloween picture with his family in it. Today he came in wearing a dinosaur hat that was really cute. I suggested he draw that hat and he reminds me, "but it has to have my WHOLE FAMILY in it." Then he gets an idea. "What if I draw my whole family with hats on?" I respond that I thought that would be a great idea! He walks off smiling. I walk by to check on him later and he can't draw his hat on himself so I help out with that. Later in the day he comes to show me his picture and said he made it for me...

I'll spare you the other eventful stories of the day and just share the positive one. Once again, children + no recess = bad, very bad

I'm all for investing in some ponchos and telling them to go play in the rain!

By the way for those I haven't told yet as of Monday, November 1st I'll be starting a new position as the Unit Director of the Boys and Girls Club Benton Unit. Lucy, next time you're over this way I can hook you up with some carpet ball for sure!

Little goes a long way

2010-09-24T21:17:00.005-04:00

I volunteered at our local Boys and Girls club this afternoon. I just go in and play with different kiddos at the different games that they have. I played air hockey with several of them for awhile. Then it was time for snack and there was a little guy named Connor. I hadn't even played with him but he came up next to me with his snack and said, "I want to sit with you!"

We went and sat down at a table. Then there were about five others that decided to join us. I felt like I had just walked into a dog pin holding raw meat. These kids were attacking me, with questions! Connor was educating me on how to speak Indian, as in Native American language. Alexis was quizzing me on my ability to speak spanish. Devon wanted to play catch and to know if I knew how this toy football from sonic worked. Then Connor gets on the floor and says, "Look what I can do?" He looks like he's having a seizure on the floor. Turns out this little white kid was break dancing. Silly me! Then Devon decides to join him. Two others then begin singing some song that I don't think was appropriate. But I could not catch all the words due to the noise level. I was educated by Alexis it was just a hip hop song.

All they wanted was my attention. They didn't care how they got it. They would ask questions... Sit in my lap... Tap my arm... Grab my hand... Ask me to play a game... They just wanted someone to make eye contact and carry on a conversation with them. They were starving for attention.

Moral of the story? Got any kiddos in your life? Make time for them. Give them some time where they have your undivided attention. Then see the difference it makes... A little attention will go a long way!

This day.

2010-09-09T21:14:00.005-04:00

Today I found myself at Lowe's, Staples, and Wal-Mart with the secretary of my office and two cute senior adult ladies from her church. Oh the fun! It really was a fun morning with them. My problem came in at Wal-Mart. It is a store that I never go to! Today it's where they wanted to go so I went.

I had to go pee when I got there. So I went.

Remembering the mussings of my friend Lucy about the usage of a public toilet (you should go read here story). I decided against what I had been taught about the fine art of thigh burning hovering to avoid the germs. So, I sat on the toilet seat.

Got up and went to wash my hands. It was in that moment I realized there should be a new invention. My hands didn't feel dirty... However, my butt that went down on that seat dry and came back up less than dry was thinking through how I needed my butt cheeks washed not my hands!

Of course this doesn't even begin to describe what looked to be about a 4 year old on the babies changing table who had messed her diaper. Pretty sure most grown men don't even smell that bad! Whew... Can't wait to get back to Wal-Mart someday soon!

Post Summer

2010-08-25T21:46:00.005-04:00

As usual of this time of year... Despite what some of you may think I am still alive! Summer has come and gone. We are still having some weekend retreat groups but no longer the really late hours. Of course more dreaded than the late hours were those ridiculous early mornings.

Summer was good. We had three girl staffers which caused a huge amount of concern for me at first. Girls and the drama are not something I care to deal with at all! Turns out it was pretty drama free this summer believe it or not. They didn't all turn into immediate best friends but they managed to serve together while they were here.

My new house served as a central spot for most everyone around here. The doors stay unlocked so I never knew what I was going to walk into. It was a great blessing to have something available though for everyone. And not gonna lie it was great to have somewhere so wonderful to lay my head down each evening!

We had the normal retreat groups as well as mission teams this year. Between those two different groups we definitely noticed a greatly level of intentionalness across the boards. Most groups were not just taking a trip with people to southeast Tennessee. They were coming with distinct things to teach their group (children, youth and/or adults) about the Lord. Not only that but during their course of being intentional many of the groups took notice of how intentional we run the camp and ministry. One step further than that was how many, many of the groups would thank us on the last day and begin to share how they truly "got it" during their stay. Perhaps they had been saved before but never knew what in the world to do now. But upon departing our gates they had a better understand of what their salvation was about and their roll in continuing to seek the Lord and honor Him with their life. It was those moments that make all other ridiculous moments completely worth it.

Before my school gets started I have been catching up on a little reading. Just finished crazy love by Francis Chan and am in the midst of Forgotten God by him as well. Next on the list is Radical by David Platt. Hoping to have all this read by September 7th when my classes begin again. I don't care who you are but YOU should read crazy love! It was great!

Hopefully, the video I am trying to upload will soon load. This was a hike that the staffers and I went on during their last week here. It was beautiful and the water felt great!

All I Can Say

2010-04-21T22:46:00.003-04:00

I found this song recently and find it rather wonderful.

It defines where most of us live spiritually. In a place that is asking, "God where are?"

Just when you think you can move no further... You have nothing else to give...

You realize just where God is...

Listen carefully when you hear the words, "I didn't know..."

powerful.

Hebrews 13:5-6

2nd Bed project

2010-04-11T22:09:00.005-04:00

Check out the bed that my sister in law and I built last week for my niece!

Plus a couple of cute pics of the kiddos.

April Texas trip

2010-04-11T21:57:00.004-04:00

What is one of my favorite things to do in Texas you might ask?

Riding the 4-wheeler with the nephew and niece would be it!

A family friend has a barn and horses on the property that connects with my parents. Ty knows that Granbob feeds the horses around 4 o'clock. We had gotten the call that he was on his way so we all decided to go to the barn. Ty comes out of the house and tell him to get on the 4 wheeler. He then tells me that Nana says we can't all 3 ride on it. I asked where is Nana? Ty replies that she is on the phone. I told Ty to hurry up and get on the 4-wheeler!

And off we went!

Typically I try to teach him good things but I didn't think any harm would come from us on the 4 wheeler. Later my parents drove by to find we had company. There was 4 of us on the 4-wheeler. Possibly 5 if you count the fact that one of them was pregnant. (No, I was not the pregnant one. Just call me Mary if I am pregnant!)

No, little Ains was not as squished as she appears to be in the picture. She is nestled safely between her big brother and myself!

When Ty was barely big enough to walk and talk I remember coming home and him handing me this puzzle. He loved it! He is a tractor fanatic. Endless hours were spent on my Texas trips putting this silly puzzle together and taking it apart with this sweet kiddo. Well, this trip after a few times of putting it together with him... He puts it together by himself!!! I was impressed.

Just a few more pics of backyard play time at Nana's house.

Love them!

New Toys

2010-03-23T09:47:00.003-04:00

A friend of mine recently started selling Pampered Chef. Another friend and I decided to have her first party. In a slight effort to move things quickly along with my house we booked a party for my house. Requiring the completion or at least kitchen completion of my new house. About a week before the party I finally informed the nice guys building the house...

"By the way guys. I have a Pampered Chef party here next Thursday." That statement was followed by a few faces. Of course they continued to work hard. The Wednesday before the party I still have NO STOVE! Well, I have the stove but not gas tank to make the stove work. We had called lots of people trying to find the right part but couldn't.

So my two builder guys decide they can "make it work."

My only comment was this.

"Please do not blow up my brand new house."

They worked way past the time they normally would to make sure the stove was up and running. I slept a little uneasy that night wondering if the part they took off of a camper was really going to work on my stove. The next day they got the slight gas leak of a smell out of the house and we were ready for Pampered Chef!

The part went great.

Because of that party a few friends booked parties. Below you will see a picture of the hostess discounted gift for the next month. I got a stainless steel set of pots and pans for 60% off. Incredible! It took about a month to get them. But they are amazing!!

Chicken pot pie was the first cooked item and it turned out pretty yummy.

Thanks to another dear friend I also have several stoneware pieces. She bought them years ago and never really liked using them. So I suggested she give them to me because I would use them. And sure enough she did!

New favorite sound

2010-03-17T16:53:00.003-04:00

I wish I could post the sound but that would take more time and effort than I am willing to give at this moment. However, I would like to take a moment to express what this sound is.

It would be the sound of a keyboard being typed on. Then the phone ringing, someone answering it and taking care of the entire phone call. Then of course it is the sound of these words. "I can help clean if you need me to."

Never have I heard such beautiful words!

Okay, maybe I have but right now in life these words and sounds are amazing. The typing is of our new administrative assistant. She is typing at our main computer while I get to do my work on my computer. The one answering the phone would be the admin assistant again while I get to straighten up my office that's been crazy for awhile. Once again the one offering to help clean is the admin assistant. She works from 1-5 Monday - Friday. She is totally willing and already has come in a few mornings just to volunteer to help clean!

AMAZING! That's the best word I have now to describe the current situation.

feeling like mom

2010-03-13T20:45:00.003-05:00

I always laugh in moments where I begin to feel like my mom. Not that that is a bad thing. But it is in those moments that the reality of growing up really kicks in. Tonight I am having one of those moments.

Three of our staffers from last summer are coming into town tonight! All day I have been anxious of their arrival and concerned for their travels. Now I know what my mom feels like! So glad to get to hear what God is doing in their lives!

Loft completion pictures

2010-02-23T23:13:00.004-05:00

The beds have made it to the boys room. They like them!

Each bed has a hook for their coat and a hook for their cape they got for Christmas.

All stuffed animals fit nicely on their top shelves.

The desk can either be folded up to make more room to play or can be put down to actually use. They each have a nice lap and chair to use at their desk.

This was definitely a fun and worthwhile project. Thanks to my sister in law I am now hooked on a new blog. I say hooked. Don't have lots of time or resources to be completely hooked but I hope to start a new project pretty soon. Perhaps not as extensive as the beds.

This Weekend

2010-02-19T11:54:00.002-05:00

http://caorm.blogspot.com/2010/02/ga-event.html

No need to write the same blog twice.

Check out our camp blog above for my weekend happenings.

Standard vs Automatic

2010-02-14T22:02:00.004-05:00

New Car is a standard. Old cars have ALL been automatic.

Recently I learned to drive a standard but still mostly drove an automatic. Today it was potentially icey outside so I drove my friend and her kiddos van to church. Normally we just all ride together but she drives. I drove though because I have been driving on the ice with not much of a problem.

We get to the bottom of her hill/driveway and I press the first pedal I can reach from the LEFT side. Because that's what you do when you're driving a standard. When you come to stop you have to press the first pedal to the left or the car dies.

Guess what pedal that is from the left side in an AUTOMATIC? Yes, it is the brake. Guess what my left foot thought it was? The clutch!

Result.

Everyone gets SLAMMED FORWARD!

Oops. My response. "Sorry, there's no clutch in this car."

Just about gave us all whiplash. Other than that driving a standard has been fine!

Fall of man

2010-02-10T22:08:00.003-05:00

Two post in one evening. Lucy, I know don't fall out of your chair. You might hurt sweet Carson!

I have been doing lots of school this evening. Well, I say lots. It has felt like lots but it probably has not been lots just a normal amount. Beside the point.

The fall of man. Sin. That's what has been the topic. Isn't that just everyone's favorite topic?! SIN. Yes, whether you realize it or not you do sin. It's ugly. Very ugly. No matter how big or small they appear in your eyes they are all felt by God.

Whew... That'll make you feel like crap real quick, huh?

Well, feeling "guilty" is not a feeling I am trying to push on anyone. Considering the way we use the word guilt today and the ways the word guilt was used in scripture are completely different. That's another post for another day.

Here's a picture of the what the fall of man looks like in real life.

Currently, my life looks like this.

Brand spanking new amazing house!

Friends and family who love me dearly.

A job I enjoy (most of the time)

Finances to provide for my needs and most wants.

Ability to further my education in something I enjoy.

The list of goodness could keep going. Then I have days like yesterday.

All I could think about yesterday was wanting to be married. Nothing else would go through my mind other than that one thought of marriage and children. It ruined the day. My heart coveted after one simple thing God has not given me yet. DESPITE the incredible list of things God is providing. I chose to weep over one thing I don't have.

That folks in its rarest form is the fall of man.

Eve chose to eat of the fruit she was directly told not too. Why? Because she thought she knew better than God. She thought God was holding out on her. She saw it and it looked alright. She made her own choice apart from trusting in God to have her best interest in mind.

Eve did it then and we do it now. Doesn't make it right just makes it what it is. The fall of man. Praise God for His grace that draws us back every so lovingly. Despite our consistent frustration with what God is giving or better yet what God is not giving.

Today was a new day.

"Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, 'The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him."

Lamentations 3:22-24

Car shopping

2010-02-10T20:15:00.004-05:00

Car shopping. Due to some mechanical issues with my current car I needed to get another one. I did not think this would be too difficult. A good friend of mine took me in as one of his kids to make sure I saw lots of different cars and didn't get taken advantage of. Over the past month I have driven a million cars. Okay, maybe not a million but a bunch!

The question you first hear when you go to a car lot...

What are you looking for!

*Please disregard if you find this analogy insensitive as it is not written with an insensitive spirit.

That question to me (What are you looking for?) is much like asking Stevie Wonder what's your favorite color? He's blind does he really have one?

I had absolutely, positively NOOOOOOOOO IDEA!!! What I was looking for.

I knew what I wanted.

1. Cheap (used or new)

2. carries lots of people and stuff

3. good APR

4. good gas mileage

5. good ground clearance

6. good ratings

7. warranty of some sort

Problem?

1. nothing is cheap.

2. in order to carry people and stuff you sacrifice MPG

3. APR's were all different

4. ground clearance again involves the mileage issue. higher off the ground worse the mileage.

5. ratings are subjective

6. warranties cost more money!

Stupid car shopping.

That's what I went to bed thinking almost nightly for a month.

Keep in mind it's WINTER!

WINTER = COLD

WINTER = RAIN/SLEET/SNOW

This is what I went car shopping in. The most comical was perhaps this past weekend where we did drive through car shopping. We would see a car. Go park next to it and wait until the salesman came out so I could simply ask questions while sitting in the car rather than standing in the cold asking questions.

I decided it was enough. Found one last Saturday I liked. Went today and drove it home. Pretty excited I have this task complete! Sure do hate to make big decisions like this but I do not want to vomit yet and I purchased the car around 3:30 this afternoon so this is a good sign. Immediate vomiting urges after major decisions are never good.

The look of my new car is not the purdiest car in the world. Makes me think of a little movie clip. I can get 70 miles to the gallon on this hog.

It's functional and meets most of my odd set of criteria. Good price. Good APR. Holds 4 adults pretty comfy. Lots cargo space. Good gas mileage.

Meet my new to me car 2007 HHR!

Craft time

2010-02-08T21:26:00.006-05:00

About a month or so ago I had a couple of little boys very seriously tell me something on the way to church. "Miss Lindsey, we need a bunk bed for our room." Then we discussed it for a minute since they had one but they got tired of it. Plus it was falling apart. They decided they wanted another one. I said okay I would see what I could do.

I started looking on craigslist to see what I could find used. Then I had an idea.

What about a loft bed?

Turns out those are more costly than just a bunk bed.

Of course by this time I am convinced that these boys NEED loft beds.

How do you pay for something you can't completely afford?

You make it!

That's what I decided. Found a place online where I could order plans plus four post and bolts that would be needed for the project. Placed the order than I called for backup.

While building my house I learned to do a few things in the woodworking area but not near enough to accomplish this task alone.

It's been over a month now and the beds are still not completely complete! I am drawing close to what I called the, "I'm over it" phase. I got one of the beds stained tonight but will have to do a little more on it tomorrow. Plus I still have another whole bed to stain. Tomorrow I will let the boys see them for the first time. Can't wait to see their reactions. Hopefully they like them!

Enjoy the pictures below!

Desk and shelf

Desk goes up to allow more room for play!

Looks a little purple in the picture but is really blue!

Second bed still left to stain!

2010-01-26T21:30:00.004-05:00

I got up early this morning to work on school work. It's the first major day of sit down scholastic of the semester. Last friday night I worked for a few hours but today was the big day to get the semester organized. During that time I...

...called AT&T to let them know my internet connection sucked. They sent a repair tech and it's working good now.

...called the local trader newspaper to list my car for sale.

...researched new or new to me cars to possibly purchase.

...fine tuned my shopping list for the afternoon of getting parts for my new project (loft bed).

...hung curtains in my bedroom.

...Are you noticing a pattern here?

What you see described above is full blown overwhelmedness.

I went to town this afternoon and upon arriving home this evening I decided I was going to get serious and not be overwhelmed and get something accomplished. Since arriving home I have...

...chatted on facebook with best friend in Texas.

...called my big brother to find he was still at work.

...skyped with my mom for the first time.

...watched a new episode of NCIS.

...last but not least - blogged about my lack of scholastic motivation.

At least with all of these events I did have one of my school books sitting in my lap. Surely that must count for something. I started in the early hours of morning and now we're getting into the late hours of the evening. Where does time go?

11:59pm

2010-01-24T23:08:00.003-05:00

What does such a time as 11:59pm represent? Well, it's like the new scholastic curfew. I have two online course and one on campus course this semester. Sunday night at 11:59pm is when class is officially over for the week. For the most part.

Friday afternoon I realized that at 11:59pm on Friday is one part of one class is over. Then you have until 11:59pm Sunday to complete a second part. Why does one class have two parts? I have no idea. So, Friday evening I was a little thrown off by this slight kink in my plans.

If you ever wonder what I'm doing Sunday night near the 11:59pm you can probably take one wild guess and be correct. Tonight I finished by 11pm so I'm doing good. There's probably some speculation out there that some of my procrastination tendencies would have changed since I am studying the Bible which I happen to enjoy. While I do enjoy studying the Word, doing an assignment is not study to me. Therefore, procrastination is in full force!

oh well... Better late then never.

Or as my famous line from college goes

Procrastination = deadline driven

The House!

2010-01-23T22:23:00.004-05:00

Below are the promised pics of the house you can obviously tell I am living in now. Just look for the stuff everywhere! The house is great! Double click on the video for it to take you to youtube so you can see the whole picture. For some reason it is cutting off the picture in the blog.

Lesson Learned

2010-01-22T22:52:00.004-05:00

Do you know why you should never eat chocolate pudding out of a cup?

You can't lick it clean.

Photos compliments of the camera on my new computer.

Still hoping to take pictures of my house tomorrow for folks to see. As well as a couple of birthday presents I am working on for some sweet kiddos I know.

Nothing major

2010-01-18T22:05:00.006-05:00

No pictures. At this very moment I think my camera is at my office. Or atleast that's where it was last time I used it last week.

Tonight you will find me sitting in my near completed house! Really, a real house! Walls, toilet, shower, bed (on a bed frame) the whole nine yards. I would say ten yards if I had a stove to cook on. That's a work in progress. Perhaps I will have a functioning stove by tomorrow. That would be great considering I have a pampered chef party tomorrow evening!

A friend is starting to sell it so another friend of mine and I are co-hosting a party. Should be fun.

Currently in the house I have my major furniture. Including a great new TV and electric fireplace I got for Christmas! With that tv I have it hooked up to rabbit ears and can actually get FIVE channels! It's pretty amazing for someone who hasn't had any channels in a few years.

I got the internet hooked up last week at the house as well since I started my online seminary classes today. Pretty sure I don't need more than five channels to distract from what I need to be doing.

Not going to lie but I probably won't have pictures on here until Saturday but I do hope to have them by the weekend. My house really does look great!

If you're ever in the area swing by and check it out.

Hmmm... That's not good.

2009-12-09T22:49:00.006-05:00

If there is one particular phrase I have heard over and over since the construction on my new house began six months ago it would be this.

Hmm... That's not good. Or Hmm... That ain't right. Hmm... is the bad news indicator! It's a dead give away to the fact that something has been messed up. Yesterday afternoon Mike went to turn on the bathtub which he thought was working. Only to find NO water coming out. What did I hear? Hmm... I cut him off before he can finish and asked what now? He replies there's no water coming out. But he'll fix it tomorrow. Sure enough this was one of those he could and did fix today.

No pictures but I do have a toilet that flushes. When the water is turned on. It's getting close. Yet, it's still a ways away from moving in.

Wall colors. I picked out what I thought were great colors with the help of more artistic people. We had been working long hours on the house for a couple of weeks. On top of my normal job and school work at night. I was exhausted. We had been sanding sheet rock for two days now it's time to paint. Ceiling paint goes up first. Mike begins to spray. Stops and what do I hear? Yep, Hmm... This time it was followed by "you might want to come look at this." Celing looked similar to post it note yellow. Not the lovely shade of cream I had picked out. No tears, yet. A little investigation shows that they mixed the wrong paint for us. Mike assures me it's no big deal we can go the next morning to get the right color. We went ahead and finisehd spraying out the whole ceiling in the wrong color so it had an even coat on it.

Then it's wall time.

Mike begins to spray and I hear his machine turn off. This time the Hmm... is skipped all together. I simply hear, "Lindsey (followed by silence)." I walk back to my room where he started and literally. Not joking. It looks like someone has melted Hershey chocolate bars and has smeared them on my walls. (Don't forget we have exhaustion, post it note yellow ceilings and now chocolate candy bar walls.) The eyes begin to water up at this point. I said that's not the color I picked out. Optimistic Mike says maybe it will dry lighter. He finishes spraying the whole house and go behind him and roll it. He assures me we can buy new paint if I hate it.

Mike leaves for the day. I cry. Lots.

Call my mom to explain the awful situation. She too assures me to just go buy new paint. Got off the phone with her and went home for the evening. While we were getting dinner plates my friends ask me about the paint. Tears almost came rushing out again. All I could say was the ceiling color is wrong and I hate the walls.

The next day was Thanksgiving and I didn't go back until that night. They weren't that awful anymore. Note to self... Never panic over paint until 24 hours later. They were still a little dark but not too bad. Needed a second coat so I decided to go ONE shade. Barely even notice a difference lighter.

Mike begins to spray. Machine turns off. All I can think is YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME WHAT NOW? This looks like an off white! Mike said what do you want me to do? I said spray the house it's going to be my new favorite color! Ended up not being too bad. I think I liked the darker better but they still look fine.

That's the latest on the house situation. Hope you enjoy the pictures!

Make a Smilebox slideshow

Slight Train Wreck

2009-11-10T14:32:00.005-05:00

Pictured above is an excellent portrayal of what occurred last night due to my error in communication. A sweet lady in my church lost her husband about 3 weeks ago. Last night I decided to go visit with her for a bit. The plan was to go there and visit then head back to the office to work on school. This plan was discussed with my friend P who makes sure I stay safe. I generally always try to let someone know where I am at all times or at least the general plan of what I'll be doing.

Well, the visit turned out a bit longer than anticipated. I got to hear this sweet ladies heart... She spoke of the first time she met her dear husband up until the very last breath he took while laying in their living room. We discussed life and all that it entails. More than anything I got to hear what she calls her "Journey" in life. Which is a phrase I have often used myself for life. It is a continual journey. This particular sweet lady has had several other deaths in her family over the past few months. Under normal circumstances she herself should be a train wreck. While there were tears shed in our chatting last night she never lost the joy in her eyes. Her hope is set on things far above that of this earth. It was refreshing to sit with her.

What I did not know was the train wreck I was causing. I left my cell phone in the car. My friend P who always makes sure I'm safe had no clue if I was safe or not. Typically I get back to there house around 11pm where I am staying until my house is complete. The phone rang at 12:20 at this sweet ladies house and it was the husband of my dear friend. He was home with kiddos while my friend was out looking for me. They had also called another couple to see if they knew where I was. That couple was out searching for me as well. Train wreck!

I got home around 12:40. Went straight to bed still unaware of the complete train wreck. This morning I apologized to my friend for causing her to panic. She had a less than favorable face to make at me and had less than favorable words to share. She was scared to death that I was not safe. I felt awful.

Then my other friends who had been out looking for me as well called to make sure my dear friend did not kill me as she had insisted she was going to do last night when I got home.

I hate that I caused so much chaos but I have thanked God all day for being reminded last night just how much I am loved by people in my life. My safety would have been of no concern if there was no love involved. To my family who wonders if I am being taken care of out in TN. Rest assured I am being watched after.

Moral of the story... Communication is the key.

2nd moral of the story... Age does not remove curfews! :)

3rd moral of the story... Next time I go visit the sweet lady from church

just take pajamas and spend the night!

Happy Anniversary Brother & Sis in law

2009-11-08T23:13:00.005-05:00

Six years ago to this day my big brother had a pretty exciting day. This is the day Sara Blanscet agreed to hang out with him for the rest of his life. They got married down in Aggieland at All Faith's Chapel on campus. It was of course a fun filled day. I have five major memories from that day.

5. Trying to find an easel to put a ginormo picture of them at the sign in table for the reception.

4. Helping soon to be sister in law get the dress to the Chapel in my mom's suburban.

3. Soon to be sister in law having a stomach situation (she knows what I'm talkin' about)

2. Waking up the next morning in our single wide trailer where my sister in law and I were living that semester not being able to walk through the house from all their wedding junk! They trashed the house with their stuff then left town! Punks!!

1. The best moment I remember though was when my brother saw Sara beginning to walk down the aisle. The look on his face is one I will never forget. It was a look that I only hope my groom will have for me one day. It was a look of awe that the woman walking down that aisle was soon to be his wife. Beau is not a natural smile for a picture kind of guy but I remember that day I didn't have to poke him at all to get a good picture. He had joy on his face that day. Then the moment Sara started walking towards him that joy became amazing to watch. I am thankful I got to take part in that special day 6 years ago.

Love you both dearly!

Happy Anniversary

True Story

2009-11-07T18:59:00.004-05:00

I'm sure to someone somewhere in this world a raccoon is just so cute and cuddly. They look similar to a cat with the hair and long tail. However, when I think of raccoon I picture more of what is found in the next picture!

Let me share a brief story why...

No really, it has to be brief because I have school to be working.

Friday afternoon we had a group check into camp. We fixed them dinner but most of their group showed up around 8pm and not 5:30 as they had planned. Supper was a little late. I got back to the office about 9 and worked on a few things. About 10-11 I worked on school work. Then at 11 one of my summer missionaries from last year called. We chatted close to an hour.

So, it's 12 o'clock. I'm a little tired since I've been at work since 9am. I go out to my car. Something seems to be moving in my back seat perhaps a gust of wind has blown through (not sure how b/c the windows were up). As I am opening the door I look back into the back seat to see a shadow movie. Then the shadow is JUMPING TOWARDS ME! I am almost certain it looked just like the picture above! (Okay maybe that's a little dramatic). I jump out of the way as what appears to be a raccoon comes jumping out of my own car at me! Paralyzed I just stood there. Too shocked to scream or cry. My heart was going 90 to nothing. I had almost been mauled by a coon.

Moral of the story...

Always close the sunroof on your car...

Recent drive

2009-11-05T23:10:00.004-05:00

Since my nephew was little I have called him Booger Butt. Sometimes it comes out as Booger Roo. I use to love saying that to him on the phone when he was with my mom. I could hear him put the phone down and laughingly say, "Nana, she called me booger butt." He and Nana would laugh about it and then he could carry on the conversation with me. Now, he knows exactly who he's talking to when I say, "Hey Booger butt whatcha doin'?" Yes, perhaps it's not the prettiest name but it makes him giggle. Which makes me smile.

On the drive home from church this past Wednesday I was on the phone with Ty. The conversation started as all do with him by calling him Booger Butt. I was riding with my dear friend and her 4 kiddos. They are great. However, using the word butt is not appropriate for their ears. As a whole I do try to stick with that but I didn't think much about it because it's what I always call my nephew. When I got off the phone they began to ask why I called him that so I explained it to them. Then one of their kiddos begins to tell me about a floor matt they saw in a magazine the other day. She thought I would have liked it. Her mom, my dear friend rolled her eyes because she knew what matt she was talking about. I asked what it said... Then I almost fell out of my seat in the car from laughter. Below you will find what the matt said. Now that's just funny to me!

A couple of pics

2009-11-05T22:52:00.004-05:00

Just thought I'd throw in a couple of pictures from this week.

No, I do not know how to sew on my own. With the help of my dear friend though it goes alright when I sit down at a sewing machine. My dear friend decided that she'd like to try quilting. Then she ran across an organization collecting quilts to give to homeless children. For those who are like me and are quilting ignorant here's a brief explanation. Each of the four matching squares is a block. We asked ladies in our church to help make the blocks. Then once we received those my dear friend penned them together while I sewed them together. Next step is to actually turn it into a quilt. I will be there for moral support and a fountain Pepsi to offer my utmost support but that part will be done by the one who actually knows how to sew!

I've sewed a few times only at the table with my dear friend near by to offer help. More times than not I get a little... Okay, that's a lie. I get ALOT frustrated when I sew. My biggest issue was running the dang sewing machine. For the life of me I couldn't figure out how to get that little string to make lines. This time around i really wanted to figure this out. I asked my dear friend to sit down and show me once more how to thread the machine. In .5 seconds she does it and says, "that's all you do." I looked back at her and explained that she might have well just done brain surgery on someone and then looked at me like okay it's your turn now!

She goes to the other room to continue pinning all the blocks. My determination kicks in. This is ridiculous. It's a little piece of string... I can do this! I take the string out backwards. Seeing how it goes through all the different spots. Finally, it made sense!! Now the bobbin is still a little hard but I'm going to master that one day too.

That's me with my hair pulled up for the first time in a long time! I'm standing on the porch of MY HOUSE! Unique feature of this house is found right there on the porch. Most porches have a simple safety railing on the porch. I have a privacy fence on mine! Yes, I am standing straight up and not bending at all. That's how tall my railing is. Not sure exactly how it got that tall but I'm not complaining. Soon, hopefully soon, I'm going to have a closet in that house. No, I'm going to have two closets! I can't wait!!

2009-10-21T22:32:00.004-04:00

I can just imagine what was going on in this picture. It's time to get the wifey a gift. He finds something real niiiiice. Wraps it up and gives it to her. Trying to hide his excitement he snacks while she opens it.

He's so proud of himself. While dear wifey's face screams... What the heck is this?

The eyes speak volumes as to what her tone might have sounded like.

She has two options. Put it back in her lap and turn to tell him how much she loves it! Then quickly putting it in her sock draw having no idea what it was. Or to turn to him and respond how thoughtful and to ask exactly what is it or does it do. Allowing him time to explain both what it is and the best way to use it. Which one do you think she chose?

Last year my brother and I got my mom a used laptop for Christmas. It was a huge hit! She loved it but upon opening do you know what she did with it? She gave it right back to me so I could start showing her how to use it. Through this week process I often heard these phrases, "You can do that with a computer? I never knew that! How cool! You mean I can do all that sitting from my recliner?" That last one peeked my dad's interest in the laptop! :)

What's this got to do with anything?

It's got everything to do with everything... That's what!

Ever heard about the gift of salvation through Jesus Christ? It is a free gift God offers to all who are willing to accept. Through salvation we are welcomed into the family of God for all eternity. His a visual aid for those that need that (like me).

Salvation is a gift offered to humans by God our Creator. Upon His handing of that gift into our hands we have to make a choice. Do we deny the gift and give it back or do we unwrap it to see what it looks like. If you choose to deny and give it back your life will forever be altered. If you choose to open it and receive the gift your life too will forever be altered. Once the gift is opened and received what you do with it will determine the rest of your days on earth.

Do you stare at it’s weirdness and put it down and move on with life? Do you try and figure out exactly what it is yourself? Do you store it somewhere safe so it stays clean and protected because you know it is such a valued gift? Or do you do as my mom did with her computer? Do you give it back to the One who gave it to you so you can better understand what it is you have just been given? THIS my friends is the part in life most believers fail to ever understand. Salvation is not just a get out of hell free card. It’s a life more abundant and free card. Frustratingly enough though we are never taught how to access that freedom.

I love my mom to death but had she not let my brother and I walk her through how to use what she needed on her computer. I am confident to say it would be in a box in a spare bedroom just collecting dust (like most bibles are doing in our homes of America). Thankfully she asked how to use it! Otherwise that would have been one expensive box collecting dust.

Two perplexing issues to me

2009-10-19T22:43:00.005-04:00

Two things in life I don't believe I have ever fully understand.

1. Jazzercise or Aerobics (can you see ME doing that in the picture?)

I don't remember all the circumstances around it but in high school for a period of time one winter when it was too cold to workout outside one of our coaches thought doing jazzercise/aerobics would be a great idea. Hold the phone. I did not do jazz to anything. I refused to do it. This particular coach thought she would show me who was boss. I was sitting a chair in the back while everyone did that mess. I sat there shaking my head. Not gonna do it! She tells me to come to the front row. Not expecting my surprise. I had no problem coming to the front row. And I brought my chair with me. Sat down right in front of her. Assuring her again I did not do that and she wasn't going to convince me otherwise. I sat in the chair the remainder of that class. I do believe that was the last time she brought a jazzercisse video to athletics class.

Yes, I'm sure there would have be athletic benefits to it. But what you need to remember is that I did not want to do that. Period. End of story. Pretty sure if you were in my mom's office as she is reading this you'd probably see her laughing out loud! She raised me, she knows! If you could see my dad reading this from his recliner he's just shaking his head and belly laughing. He raised me, he knows! (Not to mention the fact mom says I got this trait from him). :) There was absolutely nothing in that coaches power to get me to do that. There was no threat in the world that would have worked. I had it settled in my mind I was not going to participate in that. Hence, dragging my chair to the front row to sit down.

Which leads me to the second thing in life I'll never understand.

2. Obedience

As shown by my very true first story obedience has never been real high on my spiritual gift survey shall we say. Pretty sure if Seiring is reading this she too is getting a good laugh. Seeing how she drove 4 hours to my college graduation yes to show her support but more so to make sure I really did graduate. She knew this mindset in me that often got in the way. I know people who have no problem doing exactly what they're told when they are told to do it. Whatever gene that is I'm pretty sure mine has gone dormit or has just plain disappeared. I have questions. Lots and lots of questions. I have an insatiable desire to understand. I didn't see how jazzercise was going to benefit me. Thus, I wasn't going to do it.

If you can convince me that something is beneficial and worthwhile then you'll never have to think twice about my obedience. It will be done in a heart beat. But at the ounce of a question you better take time to help me understand before I pull the chair to the front row and sit down.

Tonight is one of those obedient issues.

I've gone back to college for a Master's in Biblical Counseling. I pretty much hated every minute of my academic career after they removed nap time come 1st grade. It was shot for me. I made it through elementary due to recess time. I made it through middle school and high school because you had to go to class to play sports. I made it through college because I was too scared to call my Mama to tell her I had dropped out. Now onto my Masters!? What?!?

That's what I think almost everyday that I have to pull out my books to work on my classes. I have nine hours and it's midterms this week. (Yes, I am fully aware I should be studying and not blogging but I needed a break). Tonight I was reminded again about this thing we call obedience. I do not want to be doing school. I want to be hanging out with people. I want to be watching TV or movies. I want to be doing something.... ANYTHING... other than sitting by myself working on SCHOOL! But it is for the sake of obedience that I am doing school. I do not know for sure what I have gone back but I simply know it is something the Lord drew my heart to do. It is out of a heart of obedience I will continue this scholastic endeavor and lonely nights for the next 3.5 semesters. Hopefully in that time frame God will show me what this is all about before I pull my chair to the front row leaving my books in the back and say forget it, I'm done!

Maybe one of God's major points is just to teach me another lesson in obedience even when I don't understand. If only I could've learned this lesson years ago. Perhaps my younger years could have proved less stressful to those around me.

Even though I will never understand jazzercise nor will I ever participate in it I hope God continues to teach me about obedience and the joys it truly can bring.

May-October 2009

2009-10-17T17:21:00.004-04:00

Make a Smilebox slideshow

Sorry for the delayed life happenings. It's been a busy 5 months to say the least.

- A friend's little girl experienced a moment of faith through baptism.

- Summer staff came to work with us for 10 weeks and we had a great time of orientation!

- The garden grew some serious beans!!

- Ran away to Boston to see best friend from big VA and her husband. Arrived Friday around lunch and departed Sunday around 11am. Quick but great trip! Saw Fenway Park, REAL whales, Cheers Pub, and lots of Boston history! Road the subway EVERYWHERE.

- Got kicked out of my basement apartment. :(

- Getting a house built for me on campus complete with cool wrap around front porch! :)

I think that hits most of the highlights over the past few months. The summer came and went. Lots of hours but saw the Lord do many things through many different people. The bug isn't working so hot right now but haven't had time to check into the problem. One problem is I ripped the drive side door off and now it won't shut. You have to hold it shut to drive down the road. So, the fact it doesn't want to start right now is not too big of a deal.

Another day...

2009-09-25T22:26:00.005-04:00

Continuing from yesterday...

I thought of a verse for The Gambler that was left out.

Know when to hold'em

know when to fold'em

know when to walk away

know when to run

know when to laugh

know when to speak

know when to smack them

right in the mouth...

"smack'em in the mouth" is a favorite phrased used by one of the cooks that works with us during the summer time. I know, I know... But don't I work at a Christian camp? Yes, I do! That's the beauty of it. We do all love the Lord dearly but we also love to laugh and have fun too. Consequently sometimes we say silly things like "smack'em in the mouth."

Speaking of laughing, speaking and smack'em in the mouth. That makes me think of one of my all time favorite actors. Tyler Perry. I needed a good laugh tonight so I looked up some of his stuff on youtube. HILARIOUS!

The first clip is a phrase I think of often... Jesus just saved yo life. Oh the things I would do and say if it were not for my Jesus. I do and say enough with him in my life. I'd be in trouble without him.

The second clip made me laugh so hard I cried the first time I ever saw it. I think I might have wet myself a little I was laughing so hard. "They don't know me... I'm old school. I will beat them and ask questions later!" That's just funny.

The third clip is one for my mom. It is her personal favorite!

The thing about TV shows and movies is our ability to relate to characters. I think that's what draws me to Madea is she laughs, she speaks, and she smack'ems in the mouth! Cracks me up! But of course what is okay for entertainment value is not always deemed to be appropriate in the real world.

I do hope you enjoy and get a good laugh out of these!

Before you think my video choice is completely trash check out this next link.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pSsRZE8aPjg&feature=related

Sorry, but it wouldn't let me post the video on here. It's really a good song. And a reminder that we do have a Father who listens intently to our hearts. He is not distant even in difficult times.

*Disclaimer: the Bible does not condone smacking people in the mouth. Unless you were my mom growing up. :) Haha! I do apologize if you find these clips offensive. But they do make me laugh out loud. And I still love Jesus while I'm laughing at this stuff!

Oopsy...

2009-09-24T17:31:00.004-04:00

It would appear it has been about 4 months since my last post. My sweet sister in law reminded me of that on my recent trip to Texas.

Hear me out before you pass judgement on my song selection.

*Disclaimer* I don't drink, smoke, or gamble. Nor do I believe the best thing in life is dying in your sleep. Those reasons aren't why this song has been on my mind.

This song first off makes me laugh. It's an old classic country tune! I do find some realness in knowing when to hold'em and knowing when to fold'em and simply knowing when to walk away or knowing when to run.

Life is an interesting thing.

The hurdles we face. The joys we overlook.

I've started with my Master's work again taking 9 hours online. Perhaps not my brightest moment. I'm a couple of weeks into and pretty much overwhelmed by two of the three classes. We'll see how the next couple of weeks pan out.

The construction on my new place of residency continues to go on. The move in date is still yet to be decided.

Work is work. Some people like what we do. Some people don't. I suppose that happens everywhere.

I noticed a couple of leaves fly by my window today while I was in the office which means the tress should be getting colorful pretty soon.

For all three people who read this and don't have daily contact with me now you know the short version of where life currently has me. Trying to know when to hold'em, know when to fold'em, know when to walk away and know when to run. That sums it up pretty well for right now.

The Beauty of a Child...

2009-05-26T21:54:00.004-04:00

That picture is not of any baby that I know just one I found online. The past two evenings I've had the joy of holding a newborn for a bit. A friend of mine here in Tennessee has a baby that is all of 9 days old today. For the life of me I have absolutely no understanding of how anyone could ever not want a baby. I realize they can get expensive and cause a good amount of stress in the life of parents. I realize it's probably a little scary to take one home from the hospital. But how in the world after looking at one do you just not want one?

I've found myself both last night and tonight not just holding the baby. I like to hold her in front of me and just look at her. The tiny hands and feet. The eyes, ears, nose, and mouth that are so precious. The innocence. The dependency to survive both physically and emotionally upon those that surround them. It just fascinates me.

The reality that the Lord knew completely of that child long before she was born. The reality that God formed that baby in her mother's womb. The reality of God's design to give women the ability to grow a child within their own body. How do you see that happen over a period of nine months and not believe that there is a God?

The beauty of a child is one that always has and I guess probably always will make my heart melt.

Still here

2009-05-25T21:58:00.004-04:00

I am still alive! Our staff has arrived for the summer. I've tried to take lots of pictures only to come to my computer and find out that my USB ports are apparently worn out. Little inconvenient but not a complete catastrophe. I can still download them somewhere else and put them on my computer through a CD that hooks up through a firewire.

I'm sure that was far more information than anyone really cared about.

We have 7 staffers currently. Five will stay the entire summer and two of them will be leaving at the end of June. As with each year they are all different. We've had a good time of orientation with them and continue to work out some of the odds and ends of what we expect of them throughout this summer.

I had to go out and till the garden today and for the first time since I cut my hair I actually pulled it into two lower pigtails to get it off my neck. That's a big step for my hair!

I haven't completely figured out yet how to make time to blog through this fun time of year. Hopefully by the end of the summer I will have something figured out!

Physically there is much going on around here.

Mentally it seems hard to make the mind slow down this time of year. There are so many things the Lord brings before us. Yes, we get staff in to help us do some of the ministries. Honestly though we believe one of the biggest task for our staff is to get to know Jesus more while they are here. We take that responsibility very seriously because if they walk away knowing Jesus better than when they showed up here there is nothing better in life we could have taught them. Nothing will help them go further in life more than knowing their King.

Spiritually it's a war zone around here. We want to see God move through this camp, this ministry and our lives. For every prayer and desire to see God move is an equal and opposite motive from satan to desire things around here to crumble. He's rather vicious in his attacks too. This song below is one of my favorites by Rich Mullins. I love the simplicity of the lyrics.

I'm the type of person who likes to understand why. When I go through times where my life doesn't make sense those are very frustrating times for me. It's in those moments I have to go back to the root of God. I have to find those things about Him that I do understand to help me understand my own life better. In the midst of that searching this song often becomes my prayer. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.

Busy days...

2009-05-05T14:07:00.003-04:00

Sorry, I don't have any personal updates at the time.

You can check out my work blog to understand why!

Hair update

2009-03-31T16:00:00.003-04:00

Mom, just thought you'd want to know my hair is growing! This hair was washed last night and did it's own thing through the night. It's calmed down as the day has gone on. And no I'm not as pale as the picture shows. Just a bad combo w/ the office lighting and my flash I guess.

Top 5 do NOTS of the day!

2009-03-27T20:38:00.004-04:00

I didn't want to have to think long enough to come up with a top 10 so we're going to go with a top 5 list!

Top 5 things NOT to done when anywhere other than your own home...

(Keep in mind I work at a camp/retreat facility. Also keep in mind today I had to clean some cabins) Enjoy.

5. Do NOT stash candy, gum or anything else under your mattress. If you're snacking just admit that you're snacking and when you're finished snacking in bed go throw it in the trash can! Somebody has to pick that up!

4. Do NOT leave coke or in todays case Mountain Dew cans EVERYWHERE after you drink them. Drink the can then place it in a trash can. It's that simple. Somebody has to pick that up!

3. Do NOT leave enough hair behind that a fake wig could be weaved from it. I know hair can come out by the handfuls. But that does not mean you have to leave it all over the sink. The best is pulling it from the drain. It's one thing to pull your own hair from a drain but somebody else's is disgusting. When you leave hair everywhere guess what? Somebody has to pick that up!

2. Do NOT leave band aids in the shower! You know when you have a wound that needs a band aid. You know if you go into the shower with a band aid you should come out with a band aid. If you go in with a band aid and do not come out with one... Where might that band aid still be? In the shower! Somebody has to pick that up!

1. This is my favorite from today. Do NOT leave your underwear any place other than on your body or at your house! Perhaps you have more than you need. Perhaps you wore the ones that give you a wedgie all day long. Either way if you bring 3 pairs with you please go home with 3 pairs! I know economy is struggling but I don't need somebody's drawers... Biggest reason not to leave your underwears is that SOMEBODY HAS TO PICK THAT UP!

Too cute

2009-03-24T17:21:00.007-04:00

Moment of Worship

2009-02-28T21:00:00.004-05:00

Today I was blessed with the opportunity to lead a couple of "worship" sessions for a women's conference at my church. When you lack much musical ability you have to find creative things such as the videos to lead worship times.

My viewpoint with worship is that if something causes you to think towards the Lord it's a moment of worship. Today's theme for worship was LOVE. I actually only got to use the Father's Love Letter that's about 10 minutes long. I do encourage the next time you have about 15 minutes to burn ask yourself this one question.

Does God love you?

Now ask it in this form. Honestly, ask yourself this question.

Does God love me? Think on that question for a moment.

Then watch each of these videos to find that answer.

May you have a time of worship as God answers the question of His love for you...

Good question.

2009-02-23T21:03:00.006-05:00

Sunday night I got to speak to a group of kiddos who were learning about missionaries. Initially they were a little disappointed with me because they were studying the process of it. The appointment, going to Virginia and all those sort of things people who work for the North American Mission Board do. I had to explain that I was appointed by the Lord to come here so after I graduated from college with my car still packed up I moved from Texas to serve here.

I said something funny a little later which made us all friends again, but I don't remember what it was. They had some questions to ask then I shared about what I do and of course we made some salvation bracelets! Then we talked a little about Psalm 27:11 being the ultimate prayer! And that since we are all called to be missionaries for Christ that would be the most important prayer from scripture they could be praying 24/7.

One of the kiddos ask this question.

What's the hardest part about being a missionary?

I looked at him and I said, "Do you really want to know?" He replied, "Yes."

So, I told him.

I said about 30 minutes ago I got a phone call from my 4 year old nephew. He wanted to know when Sissy was coming to home to see him?

I love that Ty is old enough to talk on the phone. Well, I use the phrase talk loosely because most of the conversation he's doing what my brother has always done... "Huh?" Huh, is about every other word. Then he'll go "Sissy, what'd you say?"

His opening line is always great because he's a child with such an adult personality.

Nine times out of ten his first words when I say hello will be

"Hey"

I say hey.

Followed up with "wha are you doin?"

The best conversations are when you mention something about driving. Those questions are always followed by where you are going? wha are you doing there? What kind of car are you driving? Is it four wheel drive? Does it have a hitch (if it's a truck)?

You know all those important questions 4 year old ask!

It's hilarious.

Then after a bit, in similar fashion to my brother.

ok, sissy I gotta go. Love you.

I might be in the middle of a sentence but when he's ready to get off, he's gone.

He called again today to tell me they were going to look at a truck and he told me about how his daddy's work truck did not have a hitch on it. I ask if he was with his Ed Ed he said, "Oh yeah. And I brought my Nana with me too."

Mom said that was accurate he made her come along for the ride. As if she put up much of a fight! :)

I told Ty I'd be home to see him in March. I hear him move the phone around. Then I hear him say, "Nana when is March?" She said next week and I had to quickly tell him I wouldn't be there next week but it wouldn't be too long after that!

He's precious. They say Ainsley is making a great new face now too! I can't wait to see them in March, just not next week of March.

What's the problem here?

2009-02-20T16:59:00.004-05:00

Can anyone tell me what is wrong with this picture?

Look closely...

Yes, the basket is really cute! But look closer.

Do you see the problem yet? Think from a healthy perspective.

Give up yet?

If you look close enough you will notice about 3 bananas rotting in the basket. Got any clue why they are rotting? Let me just go ahead and tell you. It's because my tongue would much rather taste fudge in the morning for breakfast than a banana! Awful, I know! Praise the Lord I've almost finished the fudge. Won't have to worry about that temptation much longer. You can't tell it very well but those apples aren't looking too fresh themselves!

Newness

2009-02-19T15:42:00.009-05:00

It took about two weeks but I finally stopped jumping when I walked past a mirror. The short hair thing really threw me off a bit. I made the comment last night that it took two weeks for my hair to look decent. The comment I received back was actually it took you two weeks to finally be ok with it.

Yes, that was true. It's pretty easy to fix which is good. I know this is going to sound bad to many people. However, it is the truth. I have not brushed my hair since I cut it! I run my fingers through it in the shower but that's the extent

of it.

Below are a few pics of the new hair and what it does without a hair brush! :)

A little more wave than curl.

A little more curl than wave.

Only about half dry. Can you see what else is new other than the hair??

There's really no method to the madness of creating curls or waves. Basically, I wash it... Put a little gel in it (if I want to "fix" it) run the blow dryer for about 2 minutes (or just let it air dry) then what happens happens.

I am not a self portrait type person so Mama I hope you enjoy seeing your daughter because I mostly did this for you! I love you! And for Lucy who'll appreciate the hair pics.

Happy Valentine's!

2009-02-15T13:57:00.004-05:00

Yes, I realize I'm a day late but I did not get this amazing gift until today.

I knew I was in for something good when a good friend at church said, "Hey, I've got you a valentine's gift but it's in the car." Followed by devious laughter. She's a dear friend who knows my heart so I thought this will be good.

Pictured above is what I was presented with after church.

Awesome!

On the ride home with my friends I ride with one comment she made was, "If I see this package open in your house..." I quickly followed up that oh yes it will be opened!! Then her son from the back seat wanted to know why that package said "Grow a Boyfriend?" We just changed the subject.

Just like all good things in life, this growth is not immediate. It will begin within two hours of placing it in water. Within 72 hours it will have reached it's full potential.

I fully intend over the next 72 hours to keep you all posted on the growth. I'm not sure what you're excited more over. The fact I'm growing a boyfriend or the fact I can actually use the word boyfriend in a post?!

All joking aside this whole topic is a hard one for me. Mainly for two reasons.

1. I greatly desire to be married.

2. I am not married nor have any potential of being in the near future.

I'm sure many folks just think I have chosen to live a life without marriage because it would seem that's what my current lifestyle is representing. I assure you with great fervency that is not the case. My current job does require much of my time. My current job has placed me in a rural area where most are married by the time they're 12, oh I mean 20. I am not getting any younger. Trust me these are all things I am completely and totally aware of everyday.

Do you know something I'm finally realizing though? These are things that God is completely aware of as well. The Lord is the one who has placed this desire for a family within me. The Lord is the one who brought me to this ministry out in the middle of now where. The Lord is also completely aware that I'm now much closer to 30 than 20. He has not forgotten these things. He has not ignored these things.

More than anything I think the Lord continues to ask me if I will simply trust Him with these things. God has yet to ever at any moment given me reason not to trust Him. He is faithful!

Through my singleness I have gotten to draw near to God when nothing else was near. I have learned a dependency upon Christ through necessity. I have been able to serve the Lord with my time and finances that is often not available to those whom are married. Through this time I have gotten to fully love children that are not my own as if they were. I have been able to help and encourage others in their marriages with biblical advice because all I know of marriage is what scripture says. I have been able to encourage singles that God adores them when sometimes it feels no one on earth does. Through this time God has taught me that I am not who I am based upon what I am. Meaning that even though I'm not a wife and mom, I am still His child and that's where I need to base my security and acceptance. Through this time God has used many different people to provide the daily love, encouragement and physical help a single girl has. I don't have to fix things that are broken, God takes care of those things. Granted, I've had the time to learn how to fix lots of things. When major things happen He has provided major manly hands to help out. The list could go on and on...

For much of my time being single my eyes were to full of frustration and anger at God to see the wonderful things He had in store for me. I rejoice now that I am joyful more often than frustrated. Notice, I didn't remove the fact that I do still get frustrated. I do think that I'm more often OK then days where I am completely not ok.

God is God. God knows my heart and loves my heart. The bottom line really is...

Do I have faith that God will take care of me? Do I have faith God will provide for me physically, spiritually, and emotionally? Do I have faith and believe God's plans are better than mine? Do I have faith and believe His promise of Jeremiah 29:11?

I do believe one day I'll post a picture of a boyfriend I didn't have to grow, but I will be able to write about how God's hands grew a man just for me. Ok, maybe a little selfish to say just for ME. But you get my point. I look forward to writing how God's word stretched him through time and how the living water of Christ was what satisfied his soul.

Nope, I have no clue how God's going to do it in these hills of Tennessee but I believe He will. Not simply to meet my desire for marriage, but in the greater scheme of things to meet His desire in furthering the Kingdom. Through a Christ centered marriage and children who desire to serve the Lord in all that they do.

Feel free to join me in praying for this man who will be posted on this blog one day. Not just that he would hurry up and find Benton, TN. More importantly though that he remain steadfast in God's word and obedient to God's voice.

While I'm waiting we can enjoy the homegrown boyfriend just for kicks. Got any suggestions for a name??

Wants and Want Nots

2009-02-09T22:46:00.003-05:00

I apologize Ms. Seiring because I don't actually know if it's proper to use the phrase want nots. Maybe when you're done reading this it will make more contextual sense even if it fails in grammatical strength.

Today the weather was really warm here in Southeast TN so before I headed over to my normal dinner place I took a walk around the lake. Here's a little glimpse of the thought process that occurred during this stretching of my legs.

There are a lot of things in life I want to do. Equally as lengthy is the list of things I want NOT to do. Oddly as it seems most all of those things are intricately connected.

Follow me for just a minute...

I don't want to clean my house and straighten up everyday. It doesn't directly affect my life if I have 3 pairs of shoes by my couch. I don't want to spend time EVERYDAY sorting and sprucing up things around my house.

HOWEVER, I do want to have a home that's always available to have guest. Since I do not want people in my house when it is not clean. I do enjoy the peacefulness of a clean house that seems to be there.

It seems that in order to get what I ultimately want... A home prepared to host any one who might stop by. I have to do little things everyday that I don't want. Dang it.

I don't want to gain back all the weight I lost in recent years. I much prefer the healthier me. I don't want to have to buy new clothes because my other ones aren't as comfy as they once were.

I don't want to put back the double stuffed Oreos from my shopping cart. I don't want to have to restrict what I eat, when I eat and how much I eat. I'm not much for restrictions of any sort.

HOWEVER, I do want to have a healthy body that supports God's word that says man does not live on bread alone but on every word the proceeds out of the mouth of the Lord. I do want to look and feel good.

It seems in order to get what I ultimately want... A body that is God's temple. I have to do little things everyday I don't want to do! Dang it, again!

I don't want to have to track every penny I spend.

HOWEVER, I do want to be able to give and spend as the Lord leads me to do especially to further His Kingdom.

It seems in order to get what I ultimately want... Finances available to the Lord. I have to do little things everyday I don't want to do! Dang it, still with the want nots!

I've never been one to do things I don't want to do. Just ask my mom and dad! :) I think God's out to prove me wrong about my theories of always doing what I want. While trying to wrap my thoughts more around His desires for me. Forgetting the want and want nots and leaning more towards obedience and disobedience.

I desire to be obedient to the Lord and His word. Thus, any form of disobedience must be removed. As good ole John says... More of Him and less of me.

Being helpful...

2009-02-01T22:39:00.006-05:00

Today, I decided to help my friends clean out their chimney from their wooden stove. You have to actually move the stove to get it all situation right. The stove being a huge hunk of... Well, I'm not sure what but something metal and really, really heavy! Due to my youthful training I still have a physique that is capable of lifting heavy things on occasion. Today was one of those occasions I decide to be a friendly neighbor and help them out.

You have to empty the ashes from the stove into this little box underneath. When that fills up you take it outside and empty it. Obviously you have to wait until they've cooled off and things of that nature. While my friend was adjusting the chimney I asked if I could take the ashes out. He says sure go put it by the oak tree out in the middle of the yard.

I nod ok and head out the door.

(Ummm... No, I don't actually know what an oak tree looks like. I thought maybe I could figure it out by deductive reasoning or something. I mean that's how I graduated from high school and college. Surely it would work now to find a certain tree.)

Anyways.

I was smart enough to first notice which way the wind was blowing. And dumped the ashes so they didn't cover me! (I was pretty proud of that decision) I dump the ashes that were still just a LITTLE bit warm to the touch. Not HOT or anything. I walk back inside the house.

All the sudden the cute 7 year old standing on the couch looking out the front window with a huge grin on his face says,

"Wow Ms. Lindsey you made a FIRE."

Normally, with these type comments I just ignore it assuming there is some exaggeration going on. This time seemed a little different. He looked serious. I immediately open the door and look out in the front yard...

Yep.

Fire.

My response?

"OH CRAP CHRIS! THERE REALLY ARE FLAMES!"

Literally, the yard was on fire!!

The yard just in front of their house.

ON FIRE!

Not just any yard but the yard COVERED IN LEAVES.

Dead leaves.

Leaves that catch on fire GREAT!

Chris grabs a rake off the porch to assess the situation in the yard...

Twelve year old Christopher goes running outside screaming, "COOL FIRE!"

Chris kept his cool and decided to let it burn off a portion of the leaves. He said it might even help grass grow in that area better next year.

The boys played around it for awhile thinking it was really cool.

Susan, their daughter, stayed on the porch suggesting we put it out immediately!

I just stood there thinking I almost caught their house on fire!

As I was standing around making sure things didn't get out of hand I noticed this tree in the middle of the yard that had NO LEAVES around it. Nothing but dirt. Deductive skills at that moment realized... You guessed it. Ohhh... That's the Oak tree! Apparently our middle of the yard concepts were a little off. I'll know for next though.

The best part of this story is this.

This isn't the first time I've almost caught their house on fire!

The first time was from inside the house!

Another story for another day.

Yes, somedays I do amaze my own self.

Maybe someday I'll tell you about the day I ran over their dog...

You make the Choice!

2009-01-31T10:50:00.007-05:00

CHOOSE YOU THIS DAY WHOM YE WILL SERVE.

Sorry for the poor photo quality of the above picture. My camera batteries were running low and I had enough juice to get only one shot and it downloaded on my computer.

That is a picture of a sign that hangs above my front door. Please look past the trim work that somehow did not get painted green. I know the somehow and the someone who didn't do it. And it has no direct affect on how this someone lives in this apartment so it's not a biggie.

Moving right along...

I found that sign when I was shopping for a couch. It was on clearance because it had a couple of scratches in the paint. I was also in the process of looking for financially feasible house decorations at that time. My thought was I could put it above a door and know one would ever be close enough to see the scratches. When I purchased the sign I had no clue that almost daily it would smack me in the face!

No, I don't mean by my poor carpentry skills it would fall off the wall and smack me. Actually, I'm pretty proud of myself for hanging it all by myself because the wall it hangs on is a slanted wall. It's the wall that hides pipes. Anyways.

The reality of CHOICE.

That's what smacks me.

God is a big and mighty God in ways that I cannot even comprehend. Yet, He allows us the ability to choose. Choose what? Everything!

Everything from the clothes we wear. The job we have. The foods we eat. The way we worship. The music we listen to.

And right down to the attitude we have.

Yep, this where it gets a little unpleasant.

At the wise old age of 27 I truly believe that we choose our attitudes. For so long I think I lived with that jaded perspective that our attitudes chose us. Or better yet our situations dictated our attitude. Just for reference this is not something I have perfected or even do very well for that fact. It's just a reality that I thought I'd share today.

Why?

Well, mostly because today I am having to choose my attitude.

I am having to choose joy. I am having to choose to trust God. I am having to choose to be obedient to His word.

What's the other option?

Let your attitude choose you. Let your circumstance dictate the overflow of your heart today.

I've got no substantial issue I'm dealing with. More or less just got up on the wrong side of the bed I suppose. Come to think of it I literally did get up on the wrong side of the bed. The side I normally sleep in is getting a little caved in (yes, that makes me feel like I airy) so rather than flip my mattress as I should do. Last night I just decided to sleep on the other side.

Seeing that sign just a bit ago made me remember though that I can choose to stay grumpy or I can just let it go and choose something else. In reality whatever that it is that's made you grumpy, normally is not that big of a deal. In the big scheme of things is it really worth letting anger and bitterness take control of you for the time being. Probably not.

I think on my other door I need a sign that is a common phrase that comes from my mouth that is quoted back to me from time to time by dear friends of mine.

GET OVER IT

I'm going to be such a good counselor one day!

Active listening to peoples care and concern only to respond back with such wisdom.

GET

OVER

More often than not that's really what we all need to hear though.

Today I'm choosing to get over it and move on with life.

Life is good!

Hair story!

2009-01-28T10:22:00.007-05:00

That is not some dead Tennessee critter on my table.

That is my hair.

My long hair.

My hair that I really liked long.

I think it looks better on my head than on the table.

Here's the story.

I've always had long hair. I like it long. My family always liked it long. It looks best when it's long. I can let it go curly when it's long. Or I can straighten it when it's long and it looks fine either way.

Then I had an aunt who had cancer. I remember mom calling and telling me how her hair was beginning to fall out. Then there was the day she decided to go ahead and cut it off because it just kept falling out. Mom said that was pretty hard for her.

Then at camp each year we have an event called Candlelighter's for children with cancer. It's basically a free fun play day for the children and their families.

Then I find out about this company called Locks of Love. With 10 inches of hair they help financially disadvantaged children by creating quality hair prosthetics (as their webpage says.)

I hate to see children hurt.

I knew I had the ability to grow long and healthy hair.

Thus...

I grew my hair out and then cut it off.

Mom please don't fall out of your chair or curse so loud they hear it at the front desk of your office!

It's not my favorite look.

But God reminded me this morning that for those children without hair... That look is not their favorite look either.

Perhaps if I do this again I will grow it out even longer so mine doesn't have to get so short.

More than anything I think part of this process for me is to have a daily reminder to pray for people dealing with much harder circumstances than myself. That's exactly what this short head of hair is going to do for awhile. Every time I see it... It will remind me that someone somewhere has shorter hair than me that they did not choose.

FYI

2009-01-17T16:46:00.001-05:00

Cook with caution when using a gas stove (real flames) and wearing a robe with big sleeves!

Ty and Sissy do an experiment!

2008-12-28T22:54:00.005-05:00

I'm sure to many of you the pictured toy above looks fun and easy! It's a McFlurry machine where kids can make their own ice cream! My cute nephew was given one for Christmas by some family friends. After church today we got to looking at it and I knew I was in trouble when it took 30 minutes just to put it together. Then it was nap time so he laid down and I had to run to the store to pick up some half and half for it.

His sister was trying to nap in the living room so we go back to my mom's bathroom to make us some ice cream. I've learned how to do this over the past few years thanks to some smart friends of mine. How hard can it be? I thought...

We gathered all needed materials. 47 parts to the hand crank ice cream machine. Ice, salt, warm water, half and half, measuring cups. I get the machine reassembled from it's washing only taking about 15 minutes this time. This will be a piece of cake! We have all our stuff spread out on mom's bathroom counter. We measure 1/2 cup half and half and pour it in.

Next thing I remember is Ty hollering, "SISSY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" I look down to see the counter top is now white from 1/2 of half and half being poured on it. The half and half is now dropping onto mom's chair and onto the floor. We grab wash clothes and start cleaning up our mess. What the heck just happened? I thought I put it together correctly. I pulled a drawer out that was underneath our spill to realize that's what caught most of the half and half, gross. Hopefully, that won't leave too foul of a smell.

While I'm trying to take a part and reassemble the machine I send Ty into the kitchen to try and find us some help. I heard him in the kitchen telling his mom and my mom exactly what I said. "Hey, we need a clean up on aisle 12!" He comes back with no help though! By now I'm sitting by the bathtub with this machine in the tub with it still dripping milk.

FINALLY, I figured it out. The piece that's suppose to stop the half and half from free flowing out... I had put it in upside down. Oops. If only the picture in the instructions were more clear!

Just to be on the safe side I take all our ice cream stuff and put it on the floor by the shower. Ty says, "Sissy, what are you doing?" I said, "Come on and get in the shower." He looks at me very puzzled then gets in. To avoid another possible half and half explosion we're going to finish our "experiment" as Ty is calling it at this point where it doesn't matter if it leaks b/c there is a drain!

We get all the ice put around the metal cylinder and only dropped a little salt into our actual ice cream mixture. Finally we start turning to make ice cream. Taking turns we finally produced some ice cream, after Ty making several more trips to get us some more ice!

It filled approximately 1/4 of the cup that is shown in the picture. BUT we did it! Took about another 25 minutes to clean up our mess too!

Unfortunately, later on in the evening Ty had a little belly bubbles explosion and his mom thinks it came from the homemade ice cream. I'm not totally convinced. But who knows... I'm pretty sure by tomorrow morning the ice cream maker will probably not be in the house any longer.

All in all it was fun spending that time with him. I love making stuff! It was fun to make some with my Ty Ty!

Yes, I took pictures and will have those up soon.

Please don't waste your money on one of these machines. Instead check out something like

Cool Craft for kids

That was a great portion of my day today. If i had the chance to do it all over again tomorrow I would in a heart beat! Only we'd just use a baggie, not the machine!

This is how you know.

2008-12-28T01:00:00.002-05:00

Before I came to Texas this time a friend called and said we were going to spend an evening out. Which for her is a big night away from her 18 month old. She adores that kiddo and her husband but she just wanted to hang out.

It's 6:05 and she comes over to the house. My parents had just left to go out to dinner with friends. She comes in I said we could go anywhere she'd like. Making decisions isn't real high on her list. I asked if she'd rather just go get a pizza and watch a movie here at my parents house. She said that sounded great. This is how you know you're not as young as you once were. We laughed all the way to Pizza Plus about how times have changed. We both agreed that going to dinner is nice but we would be just as happy staying in town and at home. So that's what we did on our girls night out. We stayed in! There were 2 movies we were debating and the store and we couldn't decide so we just rented both. We ate our pizza and talked at the characters throughout the movie like normal.

Life really is about the simple things. A pizza and movie, you just can't hardly beat that!

I have arrived...

2008-12-23T00:38:00.002-05:00

Back in Texas for the Christmas celebration!

The plane ride was lovely as always... After an hour delay we finally left Knoxville. Was seated next to some Asian lovebirds who all but made love there next to me. Then as we get off the plane I realized it must have been father/son work day or something because that kid coming out of the cockpit was not old enough to fly a remote control plane let alone one with real people on it!

Ty and Mom picked me up so that was an eventful ride home. We stopped by to visit my Aunt in Carrolton. Beau and Sara came over for dinner with cute Ainsley! I watched a couple of comedy shows with Dad then went a visited with a friend for way too long. Supposedly we're getting up "early" not sure by who's definition of early we're talking about... But we've got to get food for Christmas eve and Christmas day. Dad did inform us that we're suppose to get some precipitation from 3-9pm which means we might not go anywhere. I'm sure it'll be fine though.

Farewell for now. I did not get my usual plane ride nap because I was way too into a book I'm reading. As tired as I am right now I think I'm going to pick it up once more. Just for a chapter. :)

This is great!

2008-12-17T09:26:00.002-05:00

Today's post is compliments of one of the most amazing 11 yr. old little boys that I know. If my mom were around him much I think she would probably say his actions and words are much the same as mine were as a child. Oh wait. Maybe some of mine now but that's beside the point.

For Christmas his family is doing a recipe book of their favorite recipes for their grandmother. Each child picked their own and wrote a short little blurb for Grandma to read. Laughter to the point of tears and gasping of breath occurred yesterday as I was shown Christopher's recipe.

Seriously... I love this kid.

I do hope you enjoy it as much as I did. His mom said she typed it word for word what he was saying.

Christopher’s Pickled Okra

I really like pickled okra. One day I decided I was gonna have me some pickled okra. So, I went to the fridge and grabbed the pickled okra jar. I had a pickled okra. Then about five minutes later, I was like, I gotta have another one. I went back to the fridge and got the pickled okra jar again. Then Jonathan walked up and I asked him if he wanted a pickled okra. He said, “Sure”. So, I got him one and I got me one. He ate his and I ate mine. I thought mine tasted odd. Then a few days later I told Mom that she needed to open up a new pickled okra jar because the other jar was empty. She asked if I ate the pepper out of the old jar. I said, “So, that’s why it tasted funny”. So, now I will make sure that the okra doesn’t have a long stem.

Christopher

1⁄2 c pickling salt

1 pint of white vinegar

1 pod of hot pepper

1 garlic bulb

1 sprig of dill weed, fresh

1 1⁄2 quarts of water

Fill clean pint jars with okra, pepper, garlic, and dill. Set aside.

In large pot on stovetop, mix water, salt, and vinegar. Bring to boil. Pour into jars over okra and other stuff. Seal. Process the okra in a hot water bath for 10 minutes. Let them sit for about a 1 week for best taste.

Did you know this?

2008-12-14T23:01:00.003-05:00

1) If you own a 69 VW and the hood is popped up for better ventilation, it creates a huge gap for leaves to fall down where the engine is.

2) When enough leaves accumulate and enough oil leaks onto those leaves... it will make an awful smell followed by smoke billowing forth from the engine compartment! :)

Just in case you did not know those 2 things...

Now you do! As do I as of tonight. Smelled the funny smell and when I got out at the church noticed the trail of smoke floating from my car. So what do I do. Take my wallet from the car and go inside!

Told my friends to follow me home because the smoke did concern me a bit. Actually I was more concerned about getting stranded because it's cold outside. Then I realize I have absolutely NO clue how much gas is in the car so I stopped by to put some gas in. My helpful friend gets out to check the engine as to possible causes of the smoke, which is coming out again... That's when we find the tree inside! I said, "How could there be that many leaves I've only had it out of the garage the past 2 days?" My friend says, "Yes, but you've had it parked under the big tree for 2 days with leaves falling." Oh yeah.

Leaves were removed.

Smoking stopped.

Problem solved.

It's always a smart thing to surround yourself with smart people. Didn't actually occur to me when I first saw the smoke to check the engine. I just walked off and went to church. Praise the Lord my car didn't catch on fire! Oh well. I was smart enough to at least take my wallet inside just in case it did go up in flames.

Oh yes... As to my other smart moment earlier this week with the paper towel thing... Another smart friend offered a wonderful suggestion to avoid those flames in the future. Wax paper or parchment paper. Of course this help was offered several minutes after she stopped laughing at my less than fortunate moment!

Live and learn.

I'm going to be a little more careful this week.

Did you know?

2008-12-13T13:39:00.003-05:00

That a paper towel will scorch and burn if you put it in a toaster oven? I did not know that... Until today! :) Left my camera in Texas or I would willing share a picture.

Need to laugh?

2008-12-12T16:48:00.001-05:00

Note to self

2008-12-10T21:35:00.002-05:00

Never cook liver inside your house!

GROSS SMELL...

Ran out of dog food. Was a reminded by a friend that he put some liver in the freezer at camp for my dog. He said just to boil it for her. He did NOT tell me the smell would make me want to vomit and sleep somewhere other than my house! Next time the dog is eating raw liver or I'll cook it on the eye of my grill OUTSIDE.

Somewhat of a Texas recap

2008-12-10T16:45:00.002-05:00

I wrote this entry last Saturday night. Am just getting around to put it up. I apologize I never got a chance to put up a picture of the tree mom and I decorated. I'll get one up when I'm home at Christmas. Sorry, this one got lengthy and is a bit choppy... Oh well, it's my Texas adventures!

I’m back to the hills of Tennessee! Actually, I’m writing this while down in south Georgia. I arrived back to my house around 11:30pm Friday night and left the house again Saturday morning around 8:45am. A church that we’ve worked with for a few years now had asked for my boss, his family and I to come spend a weekend with them. This was the weekend we planned to go.

I apologize to several in Texas that I did not get to see! December 22-30 will be my next trip for Christmas. I look forward to getting my daily hugs and I love you’s. Those are greatly missed living so far from home.

This trip was extra special because I got to make up for some lost time with the world’s cutest niece and nephew. Praise the Lord that my 7 month old niece, Ainsley Grace, came right to me when I first saw her. And throughout the next week we spent quality time together from around 7am-5pm. My nephew would hang out with us too. My dad would bring us all breakfast EVERY morning. Consequently, this morning I woke up rather hungry in Tennessee, nothing in the fridge and no delivery coming my way. Back to reality…

My niece is precious. By far though the favorite thing to watch was how Ty, my nephew, interacted with his sister. He would talk so soft and sweet to her calling her pretty girl with the same tone and everything I hear my brother use with her. PRECIOUS! She would go crazy when she saw him. There was no way she was taking a nap if she could see or hear him! Her little legs would go crazy as if she was trying to run towards him when she saw him.

However, inappropriate this will turn out to be one day for now it was hilarious… Ty could get Ainsley to just belly laugh by doing one major thing. He would get in her face and say the word POOP. Yes, you read that correctly. POOP. She would seriously just die laughing at him. Then we’d all start laughing and he’d do it more and then he’d start jumping up and down saying it which in turn made her laugh even harder. It’s predicted that her first word indeed will be POOP. Which I’m sure will be followed up by laughter from everyone. It will be really funny until she goes to school and says it. J

They were great!

One afternoon I realized I hadn’t gotten to play with Ty as much as I wanted so I asked my grandparents to watch Ainsely for a little while so he and I could go play. We head out to Gander Mountain, that Ty loves. We were on a mission for 4-wheelers as Ty says that would be, “Just my size.” On the way to the store he informed me that Gander Mountain had called him at school and told him they had gotten in a new shipment of them yesterday. (Seriously, those were all his words, from a 4 year old.) Then he also informed me that if they had one “just his size” he was certain that we could fit it into the back of his daddy’s truck that we were driving. He thought they only cost around $100 and he had $47 at home if I needed it.

Walking through the door of the store Ty begins to look for 4-wheelers as if we’re searching for a lost puppy. “Oh 4-wheelers where are you? Come here little 4-wheelers. Where are you? I know you’re here. Come out come out where ever you are…” This goes on throughout the whole store. We find nothing. He finally says, “Sissy, we need to ask somebody.” We did only to find out they had none. We looked at the boats for awhile then decided to go across the parking lot to Lowe’s in hopes that they might have a “Super duper chainsaw” that he was in need of. Once again Sissy would need to buy that for him if we found it because there were some trees in his yard that needed to be cut down.

The best part was when we found the play houses in front of Lowe’s. That’s where we spent our next hour of life. Running between two play houses playing pretend! Of course we had to stop when we heard a big truck drive by or the fork lift. We’d have to go find out what was going on with those two things. Finally, we had to head back to my grandparents for dinner. Sadly enough we could not bring one of the $3000 play houses home. Even though Ty informed me that they would fit in the back of the truck and the forklift could put them there.

I love my Mom

2008-11-28T22:56:00.003-05:00

Today was a day I said thanks to my mom for what she did 27 years ago to this day. She gave birth to me. Which for her probably paled in comparison to what was in store for her in the years to come.

My mom loves Christmas decorations! She LOVES walking in and seeing the Christmas tree set up. In an effort to tell my mom thanks today I decided to help her with this task. Which to many people might not be too big of a deal. However, for me... I think I would prefer to spend the day trying to physically chew my own toe nails off.

Ty spent the day with us and helped off and on as well. Until we got to the decorating part. Then Mom suggested he and Daddy go check the horses. Dad being the trooper he is took Ty out of the house so we could get to work. I'll have pics tomorrow of the finished product.

It actually wasn't as miserable of an experience as I thought it would be. We ended our day today going out to dinner at Texas Roadhouse. Yum... I even invited a friend and her family along too. All and all it's been a good day. Other than the fact that in my mind now that I'm 27 I might as well call myself 30.

Oh well! I'm one blessed 27 year old, that's for sure.

Make a Smilebox slideshow

Carbohydrate heaven

2008-11-28T22:50:00.002-05:00

The day of carbohydrates went well around here!

Food was eaten...

Football games were watched...

Friends and family were enjoyed...

Ainsley Grace was wearing a CUTE outfit made by her mama.

I hope your day of giving thanks was full of just that...

THANKSGIVING!

Made it

2008-11-26T09:23:00.002-05:00

Quick update here.

My niece, Ainsley Grace is...

A-D-O-R-A-B-L-E

Seriously, she's amazingly cute. She came right to me last night.

My dad...

Has no facial hair! Freaked me out a bit. I walk into the house and I said, "Uh, what happened?" He just laughed and I proceeded to ask why no one told me he'd shaved? Seriously was a little disturbing for me. I've never seen his top lip before. For the anniversary last week they went to an Eagle's concert. Which is a group they went to a concert and saw before they were even married. Daddy said he was clean shavin' then so he thought he'd go back to that for the day. Romantic remembrance for them but a little disturbing for his 26 year old daughter. He is growing it back out so it's got stubble.

Of course round 1 of mexican food was great last night. I think I'm going to have some for breakfast today! :)

Lone Start State here I come!

2008-11-24T21:57:00.003-05:00

Tomorrow afternoon I'll be heading to the great state of Texas to celebrate some Thanksgiving. To spend some time with my family. To babysit my niece all next week and I'm sure my nephew will hang out with us too.

In the spirit of thanksgiving and in light of going to our local crisis center today... I sit here tonight just marveling at how blessed I am. I whine and I fuss and I gripe with the best of them. However, I really am blessed beyond reason. I have a job that I love. God's provided a network of people here in Tennessee to help take care of me. I have a wonderful family in Texas. I can hear my mom's voice right now ringing in my ears, "We're just glad to have you home anytime you can come. Just book a ticket and we'll be there to pick you up." And she means it. They will drop anything to come get me and will do anything to provide a way for me to get home.

There are so many in this world who have nothing. Why did I get to be a lucky one with blessings in abundance? I don't know... But I truly am.

Can't help but think of that good ole song... Count your many blessings, name them one by one!

If you're in or near Texas I'll be there from Tuesday until Friday, Dec 5. Give me a ring. Or swing by Mom and Dad's place for a visit.

Here's my story!

2008-11-18T14:50:00.003-05:00

Love it!

30 years today!

2008-11-17T11:22:00.002-05:00

Thirty years ago to this day my life began. Well, not exactly because I'm only 26. However, thirty years ago to this day my parents celebrated exchanging wedding vows! :) I have a picture of my mom as a bride but haven't had time to put it online yet. I'll try to get to that this afternoon. She's beautiful!

Anyways... On this day I say thanks to my Mom and Daddy. It wasn't until I got into college that I truly began to understand the blessings I had as a child. The biggest part about my parents that I took for granted was that they were still married. Most people I met had experienced divorce and by God's grace I didn't have to go through that. I say thank for the way you raised us because as I grow I'm learning more and more that you did the absolute best you knew how to do. What more could a kid ask for. It wasn't always perfect but it was all that you could give. Thank you for teaching us and training us the ways you did. Thank you for fussing and fighting in front of us but never too much. I can honestly say there has never been a time in my life where I didn't have full confidence that my mom totally believed in the man that my dad is and his abilities as a husband and a dad. I can honestly say I've never doubted that my dad loved and adored my mom above all other women on this earth. Granted they didn't like each other every moment of everyday but I always knew that the love was rooted deep within them. Thanks for never giving up on each other. The lessons you've taught go far deeper than you'll ever know.

I love you both beyond words!

Happy Anniversary!

love always,

sis

It's Monday again! :)

2008-11-17T08:16:00.006-05:00

Here's another favorite new song to start your Monday off on a good note!

Three basic needs we all have in our lives...

ACCEPTANCE

SECURITY

SIGNIFICANCE

Satan has so distorted our view as to where we are to find those things. Satan has convinced us that these things are found in temporal things such as people, positions, professions, performances and lots of other things that start with a P. Sorry for the slight Southern Baptist moment...

Here's the truth of the matter.

You are COMPLETELY accepted in Christ!

You are God's child...

"But as many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of God, even to those who believe in His name..." John 1:12

You are COMPLETELY secure in Christ!

You are free forever from condemnations...

"Therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has set you free from the law of sin and of death." Romans 8:1-2

You are COMPLETELY significant in Christ!

You are the salt and light of the earth...

"You are the salt of the earth; but if the salt has become tasteless, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled under foot by men. You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden..." Matthew 5:13-14

The tough part comes by trying to renew your mind to live by these truths from God's word and not the lies we have been programmed believe. I have full confidence though based on Romans 12:1-2 that God desires for us to be reprogrammed thus He can and will provide the ability for our minds to be renewed!

May you find truth today from His word...

Good morning

2008-11-14T08:12:00.003-05:00

Here's a great way to start your day.

Too much reading from yesterday for you to go through so there's some things you don't have to read.

Follow that one up with this one!

Hope you have a great day today!

Two post in one day! Spirit, soul, body pt. 2

2008-11-13T19:56:00.004-05:00

Yes, be amazed!

Let's go back to m y post several days ago about this whole spirit, soul and body thing. There are 5 mine foundations to look at within the spirit (the part of you that relates to God).

Salvation

Assurance

Security

Acceptance

Total Commitment (Surrender)

With each of those let's look into God's word to see what He has to say on those topics.

FOUNDATION STONE #1

Salvation:

"I tell you the truth, whoever hears my word and believes him who sent me has eternal life and will not be condemned; he has crossed over from death to life." John 5:24

Do you know you are a child of the King? Have you become aware that your sin separates you from God? Have you willfully submitted your life to God? Have you believed in the fact that God sent His son Jesus to die for you?

If you taken those steps then let's realize what you can firmly say without doubt "whoever hears my word and believes in him who sent me has eternal life and will not be condemned; he has crossed over from death to life."

You have eternal life...

You will not be condemned...

You have crossed over from death to life!

That's some good stuff. Our eternal life has just been handed to us. Meaning after this breath of a life we live on earth is done... You can know for sure where you'll be going! You will no longer be condemned or blamed before the Lord. Jesus has taken on your sins. You are no longer dead but have truly now come to life.

FOUNDATION STONE #2

Assurance:

"I give them eternal life and they shall never perish; no one can snatch them out of my hand"

John 10:28

No matter how you feel. No matter how unworthy you feel. No matter how much you do or don't do. NOTHING is going to snatch you out of the hands of your Father! Which means nothing is going to change where you spend eternity. Nothing is going to separate you from the God who has sent His Son to die for us and our sins. Rest assured that though nothing is certain or constant in life. Assurance in Christ can be and is completely available according to God's word! So when you can find nothing else in life to be confident in, just return to this verse.

FOUNDATION STONE #3

Security:

"All that the Father gives me will come to me, and whoever comes to me I will never drive away. For I have come down from heaven not to do my will but to do the will of him who sent me. And this is the will of him who sent me, that I shall lose none of all that he has given me, but raise them up at the last day." John 6:37 -39

There seems to be a little bit of a scarlet thread running through these foundations to me. This one again leans upon something that is constant and unchanging. We can be completely secure in our position in Christ. Once we become one of His we will never be driven away from Him. We will not be lost along the way but one day we WILL be raised up and taken into eternity! These are facts not possibilities!

FOUNDATION STONE #4

Acceptance:

"To the praise of the glory of His grace, by which He has made us accepted in the Beloved."

Ephesians 1:6

Is it not pretty safe to say that acceptance is a must for all of us? We strive to be accepted by all those around us whether you want to admit it or not. At our core (which God designed) we all are desperately looking to be accepted. In being accepted we feel we have purpose, we are loved, we are OK because there is someone who accepts us just as we are. Is that not a huge desire at your center? Well, it is mine. Praise be to God though because whether we see or feel that acceptance on a day to day basis... Feeling or no feeling YOU ARE ACCEPTED IN CHRIST!

That is truth. That is a foundation to build your life on!

FOUNDATION STONE #5

Total Commitment (Surrender)

"Therefore, I urge you, brothers in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God -- this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is -- his good, pleasing and perfect will." Romans 12:1-2

This is where the rubber meets the road. Did God provide the other 4 foundational stones so that we could collect them all and put them in a pretty box so we have some cute decorations to look at? I'm pretty sure no he did not! I'm pretty sure He's given those other foundations to help us willingly walk into this last foundational stone. What's great is that without fully accepting and experiencing the other 4 you will never accept or experience this 5th one. And vise versa... Without this one you will never fully appreciate the other 4.

To offer our lives back into the hands of God and fully trust He will do what He wants and needs to through it is the beauty of God. Reaching the point of offering our bodies as a living sacrifice is a tough point to reach, from an earthly perspective. But your mind will never fully be transformed into the likeness of Christ until you reach that point of fully worshipping Christ with all that you are.

The trick to this intense picture can be found in Galatians 2:20..

"I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God who loved me and gave himself up for me."

Wait a second! Foundation stone #1 said we've crossed from death to life? Yes... We (our old man) has been put to death and the life we've now taken up is the life of Christ!

Ok. that's probably way more than anyone wants to read in a day. Unless you really like this stuff like I do! Way to go if you made it this far!

Guess what?!

2008-11-13T19:26:00.003-05:00

No, I'm not getting married.

But I do have a great story from a friend of mine. Last weekend as I said I got to go to the Lady Vols basketball game. After supper my friend was trying to get her cash from her pocket and she gets a panic look on her face. She tells me that she can't find her wedding ring. She got married this past September. Her heart broke to think that she's lost the ring she just got.

On the ride home I told her she was just going to have to tell her husband she lost it. I suggested she right a note and put it on the coffee table since she would probably be sobbing when she's trying to explain it. That way she could just point to the note when he can't understand her and know what the problem is. We went on to discuss how she would get to see some great compassion from her husband because his heart would rejoice that she wasn't hurt but that it was just something that was lost.

I saw her husband last night and church and ask how she was. He said she'd been pretty tore up all week. She had even ask him multiple times was he mad at her. Of course he said no. Apparently she got frustrated at him thinking he should be mad at her for losing the ring. He told me it wasn't a big deal. He was just glad she was ok. I said well you know what she needs for Christmas now. He said exactly!

Through an unexplainable occurrence of events my friend now has her ring back!!! Apparently she dropped it in the parking lot where we parked. She called a friend her works at UT and somehow that friend got the ring back. God is amazing!! My friend said there was no way this was any sort of normal thing but it was amazing. What's great is that she got to see the compassion of Jesus through her husband! It's a beautiful thing. Not only that but she also got her ring back. Now every time she notices her ring she'll think of what God did using that ring... God is so cool! Just wanted to share that today.

New skills

2008-11-12T11:38:00.002-05:00

Please watch this video before reading any further!!

I'm going to a conference this weekend so I decided to make today my day off. First and foremost wonderfulness about that... Pajamas! Yes, staying in my PJ's until I'm ready to get out of them. Just in case you're curious it's 11:45am and I'm still in them. I also decided to do some cooking today. A dear friend of mine would refer to this day as being a domesticated day! I haven't had one of these in awhile.

I've made some chicken enchiladas and put in the freezer using some leftover things from the fridge then I moved on to making some whole wheat pizza crust. I plugged in the wheat grinder and it made no attempt to work. Oh no! It's not actually mine but a friend of mine. Not good. I put it back in the cabinet and ask the Lord to remedy that situation for me. Those machines aren't cheap. I go to get something out of the fridge. Oh snap... Light's not on.

DUH! I blew a fuse. Problem solved. Walked outside and flipped the breaker.

Back to pizza crust.

I could only find one little sheet of parchment paper and in case you don't know what that is, it's AMAZING, never cook on a cookie sheet without it!

I found a roll of wax paper and used that instead. Now that the pizza crust have cooled I've realized an important lesson. Wax paper and parchment paper are not the same thing. I repeat, they ARE NOT the same thing. Should have googled it first but I figured it would be ok. It's not too bad of a substitute if you spray the wax paper good with a non stick spray. Otherwise, stick city here you come! Now I've got to figure out how to peel off the pizza dough...

Oh back to the video. In my pizza crust making experience being here by myself I decide to see if I can throw a pizza crust. It looks cool when they do it and how hard is it. Turns out it's actually not all that hard to do! I only dropped it a few times but then got the hang of it. What a picture... Me in PJ's tossing pizza dough in the kitchen. I wish the ceilings were taller because I wanted to see how high I could throw it. Greatly debated going outside to throw it really high. I knew the dogs would eat that dough if I walked outside with it so I stayed inside.

I'm not professional like the guy on the video but it's not too hard. Give it a try next time you make some pizza crust!

Seriously!?

2008-11-11T21:20:00.002-05:00

Who has the cutest nephew and niece in the whole world?

Yep, that would be me!! Seriously, my brother and sis in law make some cute babies! Funny story from my grandpa. He and my grandma keep Ainsley everyday. According to him baby gates will be useless for her. He suggest just nailing up sheets up plywood. Hopefully she won't tear those off the walls. Apparently she's a pretty fiesty little one. My mom compares her to me but I assure her that is not my fault because I have not had enough interaction with her yet. I will get to babysit her the week after thanksgiving. That I'm way excited about! After that week some of her personality might be my fault. I'm sure we're going to get along great. How cute are they!?! Ty and I will have fun going to get a "nack" at Quick Check. He too is too cute for his own good.

Jesus and basketball

2008-11-10T20:54:00.003-05:00

So, what if following after the Lord was more like playing basketball? For those of you who have no athletic background this post might not make sense at all. However, if there is something that you've invested much time in in order to improve to a certain level be it sports or not, you should understand.

Since my Sunday afternoon basketball experience I've been thinking back to my own athletic years growing up. I was trained. I was drilled. I was challenged. I improved. If I was not constantly improving, there was no one to blame but me. I was responsible for my own playing ability. I knew what to do when I got the ball. Either go towards the goal and automatically be looking for someone to pass the ball towards. Your eyes were always scanning for who was open or an open spot to get to the goal. You dribble in such a way to keep the ball away from the defender. Then of course as the defender the point was to get the ball or simply keep them away from their goal.

Everyday in practice we worked on ways to get the ball to the goal and ways to keep the other team from getting to their goal. We had game plans. We practiced our tactics on each other. We corrected and redid it when we did it wrong. Everyday you practiced the basics. Free throws, layups, jump shots, and of course running. Those were things that you would do in every game played so those were drilled into us daily. If you struggled with one more than the other you would practice that even more.

Back to Jesus. Why don't we drill ourselves with God's word? What are our everyday practices that we do to prepare for the daily battle we face? If there is a particular area you struggle in do you do more in that area? Do you have people willing to tell you when you're wrong and to repent? Do you have people who will practice this thing called faith with you? What don't our churches look more like basketball teams?

When those girls were on that court on Sunday that was all that mattered at that moment? People were watching them but they weren't concerned with that. There were kids that went home that day I'm sure to practice like one of their favorite Lady Vol players. What if our church looked like that? When we're in worship that's all that matters, entering into God's presence. People watch us but that doesn't matter. What if people walked away from being near us and wanted to mimic what they say in us... The Jesus they saw in us?

I think there's something to the way sports work. There's something to sharing a common goal. They want to win. They will do whatever it takes to achieve that goal. Why can't our churches see the common goal? To run the race... Living out the things of the Lord... love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self control?

Just my random thoughts on Jesus and basketball.

Lady Vols

2008-11-09T22:13:00.004-05:00

I had a first today in my 4 years of being a resident of the state of Tennessee!

Yep, I went to my first Lady Vols basketball game. A friend at church had some extra tickets so I decided to go with her. It was a fun afternoon getting out. A little strange experience because it's been several years since I have been to a sporting event. They won by lots of points so it wasn't an overwhelmingly thrilling game. I did not realize they were the national champs for the past 2 years.

I though of something funny earlier that I intended to write about but as I sit here now, I have absolutely no recollection of what it was. It was really funny at the time. I do remember that. Oh well, perhaps I'll remember it tomorrow.

Spirit, Soul, and Body. pt. 1

2008-11-08T14:04:00.008-05:00

Today, you get to hear about what I've been doing the greater portion of the day. I've been studying. It's my absolute favorite thing under the sun to! Ok, wait. Not really, that was a complete and total falsehood. I've never been much for studying which is why school and I were never very close friends. However, today has not been completely miserable. Why? It's simple. I made the choice to study today. Not only that but I chose the topic. :)

Last spring I went to a conference at Grace Fellowship International. I'm pretty sure I promised to explain last fall what it was all about and I'm pretty sure I never got around to it. Better late than never though I suppose. They have a conference, workshop and school you can attend. Each of them lasting several days in length. Last spring I attended the conference and workshop. Next week I'll be attending the school part. Part of me is excited and part of me is screaming nooo!! Not a classroom! It's only 3 days so I don't think I'll die in that short of time. Once that's done they have some more correspondence things I can get into if I so choose.

Here's the quick run through of what I've been checking out today. Of course this will all be in my own interpretation of their information. Feel free to check out their site and order their books if you so choose to have a further deeper understand

Your whole being is made up for a spirit, soul and body according to 1 Thessalonians 5:23. As the trinity is wholly separate yet wholly connected as are those three components. The trinity being the reality that God is the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. Only seems fitting that since we are made in His image we too would have 3 parts to our being.

These three parts are beautifully and intricately connected. Meaning that they have great impacts on each other. The SPIRIT is dealing with things such as our intuition, our conscience, our communion with God. These are all parts that relate to God thus become our spiritual hub. The SOUL houses the mind, the will, the emotions. Making it our psychological center and relates more to how we relate to others. The BODY is simply that our physiological body that relates to our environment.

The beautiful trinity connection exemplifies that if it all begins in the SPIRIT, when that part is not properly taken care of then the SOUL and BODY will immediate follow suit as to their own well being. Within the SPIRIT you will find the building blocks to our lives. Those things which we are constantly seeking to find through everything and everyone in this world. Those things we will spend an eternity looking for and I believe once we walk into eternity if you are a child of the King, God is going to show us we searched so hard we missed it. The Truth was simply sitting before us... Yet, we overlooked it.

I'll go into more of those things we're searching for tomorrow.